Grief Group Therapy

I just finished watching "What About Brian - Episode 6". In this episode, it reminds me of something very familiar...during my depression period. In this episode, it talks about Nicole, a pregnant widow who just lost a husband few weeks ago. Her husband was killed in a car accident.

Well Nicole tried to survive without her husband. Trying to be strong and get over the whole tragedy as soon as possible. She knows she is lucky that she's surrounded by friends who cares for her and be with her as much as they could to make sure she is OK. Being a pregnant woman, it is not good to be stressed. Thus, the doctor advised her to join a group therapy - Grief Group. Of course, she thought it was stupid. She has friends around and she's people to talk to. Why does she need anymore therapy to heal? Somehow at the end, she realises that no matter how much her friends try, they will never really understand what she is going through. That's the part where it hit me right away... nobody really understood what was I going through.

Yeah nobody knows it but me.

This first of all is because I never told anyone, except my family members and some close friends. So I hardly was surrounded by friends who show their concern and cares as much as I needed. Secondly, I thought I should be strong and should never be defeated my any problems or obstacles. But the truth is I just couldn't take it.

At the end of the episode, Nicole finally decided to joined the group therapy and said something that I agree very much. Friends were there for us. Each time they met us they'd ask "How are you feeling?", "Are you alright?", "Is there anything I can do for you?", "You know if you need anything I'll be there for you, ok?!"...etc etc... But what can we say? "I am not alright! And you know I am not alright!" No, instead we will say "I am fine. No worry, I will be fine!" But the truth is they will never understand what we are going through exactly. Nobody will, except those who are going through the same thing.

I was alone. Not that I was left alone as I was surrounded by family members who tried so hard to understand me and support me. But I was still alone because nobody could really understand what was I going through. And somehow I understand why mom said something that really touched me when I was depressing :"Mom cannot help you! But mom will always be with you and will go through this with you!" Perhaps, that's the the only thing that I could hold on to. Yeah, I walked the path on my own. Yes, it was hard and truly, nobody could help me. However, at least within my heart I know, someone is watching over me. And that's my mom.

Well, everyone's trying to be as strong as they can this day. We were also taught to be strong in this harsh mean world. But no matter how strong we are, at times, we can be as fragile as the glass. Gosh, I missed those times when I was pampered by my parents. Guess deep in my heart, there's still a young kid that needs to be protected and loved. Or perhaps I am bored of being strong anymore.

It's funny I was not introduced to those group therapy. I wonder what it'll be like if I joined.... hmm... Interesting!