New Year 2007

Happy New Year 2007!!!

That's a good start. Something different for me right between the year 2006 and 2007. I never had a good reflection of year 2006 and never really got a resolution for year 2007.

"How can this be?!"

Well, frankly, I never really did a proper reflection nor resolution last few years. I didn't sit quietly and think back what I'd done and what I wanted to do in the coming future. I was normally too busy planning on how to celebrate the new year countdown or with other stuff. Reflection? Resolution? Hmm... I think I did it once in a while if not everyday.

I think I have had enough of thinking back. Thinking back doesn't help me to go anywhere nowadays. It drags me into the deeper valley where I would never ever want to be. Making resolution is not my talent. I am not a good planner but also a terrible improvisor I guess. So, resolution won't do me any good. It sometime makes me feel worse because most of them(target, mission, vision etc) I won't achieve.

I have taken a whole year of 2006 to recover from my devastating depression. And now I wouldn't say I am fully recovered. Perhaps it is the fear that has taken away my the "courageous" me. I won't force myself to be who I used to be anymore, although I was better last time with high spirit and full energy. But I will enjoy myself now perfecting myself from time to time. Yeah I will get better, but I will take my time. I have learnt that I am just a normal person trying to be better each day. I do realise that I have potential to be someone I want to be, but dreaming big is not for me now. I will take it slow... step by step... no hurry... just enjoy.

Anyway, knowing that I am a lazy bum and have thousand of excuse for me to procrastinate... eventhough I am not a good plan follower, I will still have to plan for myself for this new year 2007 :

1) Take my diploma solo piano examination by the end of the year
2) Improve the LASS system
3) Gain weight and be more than 65kgs by the end of the year
4) Attend at least one Gakkai activities each month (choir practice doesn't count)
5) Saving at least RM 200 each month

OK I've done that. Take a deep breath, here I go...