Creation In Life

马六甲古城合唱节2008后记

2009-01-04T17:10:00.003+08:00

期待已久的马六甲古城合唱节2008，转瞬间就这样过去了。当中，真的学习到了不少东西，除了在合唱技巧、合唱指挥，还学习了不少待人处事之道。我仿佛像个年幼的小孩，每一分、每一秒，都在吸取新知识、新概念。学习的过程，虽然劳累，但是是快乐的。也因为过程是快乐的，所以再疲惫，也都无所谓了。最重要的是，每一天都过得充实、愉快！

这次参加该合唱节主要目的是成为指挥大师班的“实验”合唱团，所以参加以前就得准备指挥大师班的八首曲子，好让上指挥班的指挥老师们能够有效的上指挥课。此外，我们还得准备两首曲子“阿拉木汗”及“青春舞曲”，在合唱演出时分别由杜黑老师，及田晓宝老师指挥。

田晓宝老师
先来谈谈田老师好了。虽然与老师接触的机会不多，但对田老师掌控多人合唱团的能力敬佩不已。我们第一天参加的就是合唱班。田老师要求的“天空”合唱法，虽然之前略有所闻，岑大伟老师也曾教过，但听过了上百人在做同样的合唱法时，出来的效果的确震撼人心，真是百闻不如亲身体验。

在田老师的第一堂课，我学到了“聆听”。除了听自己所发出的声音之外，还要聆听自己与身边团员发出的声音和不和谐。就算是同一个音，不同的人都会有可能发出不同素质的音。若找不到这和谐度，虽然同是一个音，也会听到参差不齐的声音，最后也就不能产生出动听的合唱效果。合唱不像独唱，合唱注重声音和谐，不管是声音的素质，音量，音准，都要和谐，才能达到合唱更好的效果。

也因为学会了聆听，虽然田老师一直要求全体团员反复同唱同一个音，也不会觉得纳闷，因为那样的反复练习是必要的，而最后尝到了优美的合唱效果后的感觉是兴奋的，再苦也是值得！

当然，所谓的“天空”合唱法并非一朝一夕能够完全掌握起来，需要多日的揣摩与练习，方能习惯，并掌握起来。往往身为合唱团员的我，知道了这些好的技巧，好的合唱法，却都没有时时刻刻警惕自己要保持、并时时刻刻运用对的合唱法。每次合唱练习时，都需要老师的重复提醒，方能再次“寻回”对的唱法。因此，整个合唱团的进度也间接受到了影响。我想在这方面，除了靠指挥或指导老师的提醒与指引之外，身为合唱团员也应该相互提醒，并自动自发的多加钻研及练习，把对的合唱法习以为常，这样也许会事半功倍吧！

杜黑老师
我们与杜黑老师相处的时间比较多，毕竟他是来教指挥的。而我们这“实验”合唱团难免要与他朝夕相对。在指导九位报了名的指挥老师的同时，杜黑老师也顺便给了合唱团许多指导与建议，使我们获益良多。

杜黑老师每次上课的处理方式大概如下：
1）对曲子的内容背景都给大家解释了至少一遍。例如曲子原自谁，什么时代，什么时候唱，什么人在什么环境会唱那首歌等，都一一叙述一番。
2）然后，再来解释他对曲子的处理方式，哪个地方该大声、哪个地方该小声、哪个地方该换气、曲子的线条等，都一一给我们讲解并示范，将歌曲演绎方式处理得有条不紊。
3）合唱团处理好后，再来教指挥们怎么指挥那首歌，并指出那一首歌指挥应该注意的地方，将指挥的难处一一解释并示范。而后再请其中一位上来试试指挥，若有任何不对，就马上纠正、改善。

与杜老师上了三天的课，发现原来指挥并不简单。或许作为旁观者看来这指挥只是跟着拍子挥动着双手，非常简单。其实要指挥一首歌并不容易，除了对一首歌要很熟悉之外，还要懂得如何指引合唱团员。指挥的身体语言、动作的大小，每一挥、每一点的轻重等，都能间接影响合唱团唱出来的效果。

也因为知道指挥这件事不容易，也开始了解到身为合唱团员，更应该懂得如何尊重指挥，并在演唱的时候，应该注意指挥给的指示。往往发现有时候自己本身只顾着背歌词，或注意自己的音准、拍子等，其实那些都是合唱团员自己在家本应该做好的功课，而在合唱练习或演唱时，是应该注意指挥的。因为指挥才能告诉、并指引合唱团演绎一首曲子的方式。若每位团员都没做好功课，每次的练习或演出只顾着背歌词或听自己的音准，那指挥存在的意义就被抹杀了。结果，合唱出来的效果，自然也大打折扣！

合唱演出
合唱节的第三天晚上，有一场独唱及合唱演出。而我们合唱小组准备被了“阿拉木汗”及“青春舞曲”这两首歌。演出前，只有一段很短的时间与指挥排练，尤其是“青春舞曲”。只能在演出前彩排的时候，仓促的与指挥与钢琴伴奏排练一两遍。而演出当晚，我们先演唱“阿拉木汗”，由杜老师指挥。演唱前，杜老师给观众介绍了我饿么小组合唱团，并给了高度的赞赏与评价，也其实给了我们团员演出前一颗的定心丸。演唱这首曲子，满轻松自在。或许因为之前我们已经演唱过好几遍，与杜老师相处的时间也比较多，排练这首歌的时间也比较长，所以这首歌的演出非常成功，也获得了观众如雷的掌声。

演唱第二首歌“青春舞曲”，是由田老师指挥。老实说，演唱得并不如预期的理想。因素相信以下两项：其一，大多数团员并未完全掌握这首歌，歌词也刚背好，我就是其中一个。其二，排练时间太短了，也太匆忙。钢琴伴奏也未能完全与合唱团配合。所以，在不能充满信心的情况下演绎这首歌，唱出来的效果，自然也不会很好。值得一提的是，演唱这首歌时，就算再怎么不确定，团员们都懂得见风驶舵，一起将这首歌完完整整的演唱完毕。那种不气馁不放弃的精神值得嘉许，但演唱前的功夫/功课做不足，是不能鼓励的。

不能很好的演绎第二首歌，我本身真的深感不值得，也有点感到愧对田老师。内心底总认为，我们是可以唱得很好很好的！而田老师处理这首歌的方式，也非常的棒！本来一首已经很不错的合唱编曲，再由田老师处理，的确使整首歌更生动、更有趣！若真的能唱得到田老师所要求的一切，相信演唱这首歌的效果应该会震撼人心吧？！

指挥班音乐会
合唱节最后一天早上，是上指挥班的老师们表演的时候。杜老师在演出前，又向观众赞赏我们这合唱团，不但要准备前一晚的两首演出歌曲，还要准备八首歌曲让指挥们指挥，还说我们是来参加了“魔鬼合唱训练营”。说真的，真的好想参加一次合唱魔鬼训练营，相信一次的魔鬼式的集训，一定能够大大提高合唱团的能力及水平。因此，对于杜老师的赞赏，我只能以更加多的努力来提升自己各方面的能力，做为回报。

指挥班的音乐会非常简单，每一位指挥在杜老师指名的五首歌曲，选一首歌来指挥我们合唱。指挥们个个都紧张，我想我们多多少少也一样感到紧张。其实，每一首歌曲，无论对指挥或合唱团，都有它本身一定的难度，所以大家演出时都尽自己的能力做得最好。而在那时候，我都懂得如何看指挥，也大概知道指挥们要告诉我的是什么。更重要的，是我懂得如何去珍惜指挥给的每一个讯息。虽然有些指挥并未能完全掌握杜老师所教的技巧，但假以时日，多练习多钻研，必定会更好！若指挥和团员都能做足功夫，相信一个合唱演出，不会差！

自己的挑战
其实参加此次的合唱节，除了在当中学习到了以上提到的知识与经验，也跨越了不少挑战。除了在练习那总共十首不容易的曲子之外，也很兴奋能够在安排妥工作上的事务，而顺顺利利地参加合唱节。另外最大的挑战应该是驾车上马六甲吧！一直以来对驾车存有恐惧感的我，这次真的鼓起了好大好大的勇气，豁出去似地乘载了几位团员一同上马六甲去。我想应该是我生平第一次驶自己的车出外州吧！好有成就感！

虽然只是短短几天的事，但过得真的很充实、愉快！真希望下次还有这样的机会！

Counter Strike

2007-11-01T20:31:00.000+08:00

One may not know how crazy an IT staff (programmers/system analyst etc) can be. They may look professional and technically skillful, but look can be deceiving! Many do not know that their mind can be abnormal at times. Extra-ordinary should be the right word to describe them, but who am I to judge. After all, me myself is an idiotic programmer.

In a super normal afternoon, feeling sleepy as usual after having the normal lunch, I found myself staring at the monitor in front of me as if I'm waiting something to pop out of the screen. Diamond or cash in US dollar, maybe? Unfortunately, nothing came up except more problems with the system and the endless programming codes are flying around or playing hide and seek on the monitor screen. To make thing worse, the earphone that I put on my ears don't always keep me awake! Most of the time, even the loud and noisy tech-no songs turned to be the sweetest lullaby that always put me into the sleeping mode. Consequently, I found myself "pancing-ikan-ing" (fishing).

Suddenly, I heard the a familiar voice. Oh yes, it's a voice of Gtalk pop up message. Let's see what's the interesting conversation we'll have :

Scene 1

Calvin Klein : .......[+]
......[+]
Me : *INVISIBLE MODE*
Calvin Klein: ...........................[+]
.............[+]
DAMN... where is him???!!
Me : muahahahahaha... Ocean OGC-ing... (OGC-ing = masturbating)
Calvin Klein: BANG
Me : Oops!?
Calvin Klein : HITS OCEAN'S ROBOTIC KUKU
Me : Agagagagaga....

You die! Die! Die!

Scene 2

Me:...[+] (targeting)
.................[+]
Ocean Blue : (Jump! jump, squat, hide CK came out)
Me : ............[+]
Ocean : Ck Run~ CK no way to hide!!!
Me : *bang bang* CK nipples kena shot
Ocean : CK shout : "ARRHHH!" Ocean jump out! throw bomb to Ryan
Me : (avoiding)
Ocean : Fire in the hole! Ryan din aware the wall beside him, hit the wall!!*
Me : fuck!
Ocean : fall back to original place! BLOWWWW~~!!! Ryan KUKU BROKEN
Me: Throw back bomb at ocean
Ocean : miss throw to CK. This time CK kuku kena BOMB! no way to avoid! BLOWWWWW!!! Ocean is the final person who stand at the war!
Me: 0_0
Ocean : Warrior!
Me: IMPOSSIBLE!
Ocean : RYAN KUKU spoiled! CK nipples & kuku SPOILED!!

Yes, this is how it looks like when we're out of normal. You have no idea how funny it can be when we're typing and laughing at our stupidity. Funny as it may seem, we love to attack one's private parts (kuku, nipples, fat ass... etc, you name it!). And we have our own way of attack : "KUKU HEAD SHOT" for example! And you should know where we're attacking! Weapon doesn't really matter. It's totally up to our own imagination. Who knows, we could come up with new strategies and our own imaginary weapons! Look at what we have : Robotic KUKU?! Aren't we clever?!

Undoubtedly, it keeps me awake and I love doing it! So whenever you find me typing enthusiastically while smiling ever so evil-ly, then you should know... Counter Strike is ON!

* This post is specially dedicated to CK & Ocean who always save me from the boring and sleepy afternoon.

My toe

2007-10-07T20:50:00.000+08:00

It was mere bad luck seriously. I attended a seminar last night somewhere near my house. Apparently I will sit for a Buddhist examination at the end of the year. So, having no time to read all the reference books and articles provided, I thought I should go for the so-called seminar-like revision study so at least I could do some revision there with others.

After going through that horrible 3 hours (well, not all speakers are professional speakers which caused all the boredom to the already exhausted me. Couldn't really blame them though as those speakers had tried their best to share), the seminar finally came to an end.

Of course, being the kind and helpful person I am (alright, not always I know), I thought I should help to keep all the tables and chairs to the store room. Putting the book I brought to my sister, I nonchalantly tried to fold the fold-able table. When I tried to bring down the table to another side so that I could fold it, the table suddenly slipped down (as the floor was too slippery) and the table just dropped on my right toe!

Ouch! I kept my mouth shut and the pain was just unbearable. Almost jumping around with pain, instead, I wave my legs around as if the pain would be shaken off. It took me awhile to finally got used to the pain and proceed to fold the table and brought it into the store room. Luckily there's no blood as there was no tear of skin. I am thankful of that. You have no idea how I hate to see blood! But it is obvious that I have a bruise on my right toe.

When I got home, I was told to massage my toe with some oil (not sure what kind of oil it was!). Yes, massage the toe. Crazy as it sound as it will cause so much pain. Having not much choice, I pour the oil onto my toe and start massage it. Slowly and softly of course fearing that I could not bear the pain. And I felt ok. Not as pain as I thought. But when I start to massage it a little harder, gosh, the pain was just beyond explanation. Never really scream out loud though. I thought I still could cope with that.

However, the more I massage, the more better I felt. And at some point I find the pain is addicting. Hahaha... Crazy as it might have sounded. But seriously I kept on massaging it until I could feel the pain slowly subsided (or perhaps I already got used to it).

So, today the bruise is even worse. My sister's boyfriend told me that it is normal. Expected. It shows that the blood is circulating and that it is a sign of recovering. But I have to keep on massaging twice a day until the bruise is gone.

Now, no choir for me today. I stayed home all day reading those novels I bought recently. I have had a good rest. No shoe for me for a few days. But don't worry, I can still walk independently. Just don't make me run, please!

Gosh, it's time to massage my toe now!

The End of Fish Killing

2007-09-03T21:59:00.000+08:00

I have killed four fishes!

Yes! I did! I am such a mean, cruel, inhumane and stone-hearted creature! All the fishes I bought had been killed! How? By suffocating them in a filthy water without sufficient oxygen!

Well, it was my first time feeding fishes on my own. Despite having large aquarium in my house last time, my father was the one who take care of all the water-cleaning, feeding and so on. I was just being the naughty one scaring the fish away by knocking on the glassed aquarium.

And now, all the fishes which I intentionally wanted to keep them alive had all died. Due to the lack of knowledge on taking care of the fishes in the fish tank. Beside feeding them daily and add some anti-chlorine each time I change the water, the fishes needs sufficient oxygen to breath. I was naive enough to think that putting lotsa grasses in the water would provide sufficient oxygen to the fishes. Unfortunately, not only the oxygen was not enough, the fishes have difficulty to swim through the water full of grasses. To make thing worse, I can't see the fishes at all because the grass has covered everything.

Not going to give up, I bought another two fishes last night (bigger in size) and brought them to the office today. Before lunch time, another fish died! Disappointed and feeling all guilty and sinful, the expert in the office (actually an office boy I would say) offered to help me buy an oxygen pump and a new fish tank for me. So, right after lunch time, I got the whole set of necessary equipment to keep my fishes alive.

Those equipment includes a new fish tank, food and air-pump. The office boy even bought me another 4 cute little fishes (knowing that all my fishes are gonna die soon). And guess what, all those things only cost me RM 20!!! That's freaking cheap!

So here are my new fishy home :

I am so glad to see that now my fishy fish fish all look very healthy and energetic. They even chase each other in that spacious new tank. Look! Now I only have a small amount of grass and a few colour stone to light up the environment.

Hmm... now I can enjoy my fishes swimming freely. One thing for sure, having that new tank on the table is just a lovely distraction!

Merdeka Day Performance Rehearsal

2007-08-30T01:08:00.000+08:00

Yippie I was there at Stadium Merdeka to witness the not-so-significant event of performances rehearsal for the celebration of 50th National Day. I was informed that the rehearsal start at 7pm. But there's no way that I could reach the venue at 7pm. Besides I only want to see the last performance of the whole performance. So I estimated the performance I want to watch is gonna start around 9:30pm to 10pm.

In that case, after work I went to the California Fitness to have an hour of gym session, pumping and stressing every possible body muscles I have so I would bulk up! (Watch out! As if the next Incredible Hulk is on the way!) After that I enjoyed a short moment of sauna and steam, took my shower and waited at the lobby with my sister's boyfriend for my sister, who was taking KTM, changed monorail to meet us.

We waited almost half an hour to finally see her and we went to IZZI Restaurant to have our dinner. Poor my sister, ain't gonna let her eat mamak after all the way from home to to KL. It took almost 1 and a half hour for her to reach here! Stupid Malaysian public transport! I don't think it will improve any sooner. All of us should start sending tonnes of complaint letters to the pertaining ministry! ~ "We care, therefore we complain!"

Anyway, back to our IZZI Restaurant, we ordered pretty lotsa food. As we got to know that using HSBC or Citibank credit card will have 50% off for a single receipt which is more than RM 100. Oh, we ordered a few expensive food and make sure they exceeded RM 100 so we could enjoy the discount.

So the following are what we ordered:

All the above cost RM 106.60 (exclusive gov. tax). So we got to enjoy 50% off and we only need to pay RM 55.97 (inclusive gov.tax). That's so freaking cheap! Next time should bring my family there.

After that we took the monorail and headed to Stadium Merdeka. When reached there, I couldn't find my dad who was already there. So we found ourselves a place to stand (yeah no more seat as the place was crowded already!). Surprisingly, the performance rehearsal not yet started. Some group we still having some practice. Later I found out from a friend Koon Loong (who was a volunteer there) that they were all waiting for the Prime Minister. Great VVIP!

We didn't have to wait long to see the PM finally arrive and the whole rehearsal started. I ain't gonna go into detail about everything. Basically the whole performance is based on the 5 Prime Minister. So there are 5 big grand performance ended with the most fantastic performance by SGM (Soka Gakkai Malaysia) group.

I didn't really took much photos at the beginning of the show as my phone was running out of battery. I have to save the best for the last! Let's have a look on what I have here:

Finally when talk about the 5th Prime Minister, SGM group performers appeared and filled up the middle field.

MERDEKA KE-50

MODAL INSAN

MISI 2057

Once again, I am deeply touched by the SGM performance. The performers successfully proved again that unity can achieve greater things. I saw the discipline, the energy of youth and the mission they carry to bring joy, hopes and happiness to everyone there. I felt their enthusiasm. I felt their passion. I could imagine their every practice under the merciless sun or the heavy rain. But they never gave up. And the pressed on steadfastly. And the result are undoubtedly fabulous! Wonderful! Amazing! Fantastic!

I felt great and lucky to be there to witness the rehearsal. I couldn't really enjoy watching the great performance as I was busy taking photos. But I can watch it on TV on the actual day. Now thanks to my new cellphone for being able to capture better quality photos. Love it so much! Muacks!

Can't wait to see the actual performance on TV on the 31st August 2007. I am praying earnestly that the performance will be a very very successful one! An even better performance! Also praying hard that all the performers are in good health and have the wisdom and courage to overcome whatever obstacles that might comes in their way!

Proud to be SGM member! Proud to be Malaysian!

Malaysiaku Gemilang!

Fishy Fish Fish

2007-08-27T22:54:00.001+08:00

As promised, I bought the fish tanks and the fishes last Sunday. Initially I bought three fishes but one died later on that day itself. Uh huu.. so sad. Anyway, I still got two fishes swimming happily. So today I brought it to my office and put it on my table.

Aiks! That cat wanna eat my fish!

My pig is there with my fish!

Can you see that small little fish?! No you can't! Too small la!

So exciting! Can see fish swim here swim there. They're so hyperactive especially when I feed them. Swim non-stop and keep on shaking their bon bon. So sexy and naughty! I like it! Wahaha...

New Piggy Pig in da office!

2007-08-25T11:39:00.000+08:00

I've got myself a cute little black piggy cellphone holder. Recently my seat in the office has been re-allocated. I was assigned to sit somewhere near the big entrance of the office, near the big boss's room!! Scary! Anyway, so far so good. The place is equally comfortable, it's just that we're more nearer to the bosses rooms. Not only big boss but other bosses as well. Lack of privacy, no more afternoon nap... uh hu hu...

And it's funny because I am farther from my boss (my direct superior boss). But he still manage to see me from a far. Guess he no longer be able to call us into his room from his office. He'll need to call my extension to be able to reach us and call us in for discussion etc.

Anyway, having a new seat and environment, I managed to clear up all those un-used stuff on my table (like the stupid speakers and the biscuit container). And I want to put something more interesting things on my table. And the first thing I got for my table's decoration is this new black little piggy cellphone holder. I noticed it last week when I was window-shopping in Sungai Wang.

So let's have a good look at it :

Cute cute little black pig!

Aiks?! It jumped on my monitor!

King Chung and my piggy! Aren't they look-a-like?! Wahaha...

<Aiks, naughty cat sit on my pig?!

Now, someone said guy can't buy a cute little piggy?! Look, I just bought one! bluek! :p

The next thing I am gonna do is buy a fish tank and yes, I am gonna have fishes in it! It would be so fun! At least there's something I can stare at instead of the hazardous monitor!

Till then!

Acapella Festival 2007

2007-08-13T09:08:00.000+08:00

So, we (the SGM Renaissance Chamber Choir) has performed during the Acapella Festival last weekend. The first show 5:30pm was not as good as we expect. But the second show we performed our best. So satisfying!

Honestly, the repertoires we performed are very different with other groups. Mostly because we are performing Chinese ancient poems songs which could be very dull and boring to certain audience. But looking from other perspective, our repertoires or performance are more profound. And the technical skills are more important in performing our repertoires. Not that I am trying to boast around, but it seems to be the way it is.

No doubt that I enjoyed some others choirs' performance. Their repertoires are more happening and catchy. Most of them do musical songs especially YKLS and The Summer Singers. Both are very good choirs. Others are also very good like Sync Tone. All those cute little boys and girls are just so adorable. It's good that they're exposed to such cultural activities at this young age.

The following are the three video clips my sister's boyfriend captured during the show:

天净沙

静夜思

草

Among other choirs/singers, I particularly love the Young KL Singer Choir sing the following song. Perhaps I love smoothing jazzy song. They enjoyed singing it, and I enjoyed listening. Love'em.

Tequila Sam

Hopefully we will have more opportunities to have exchange with other choirs so that we could motivate each other and together brings standard of choirs' performance to another higher level.

Acapella Festival '07

2007-08-06T10:34:00.000+08:00

We are gonna sing three songs:
1) 静夜思
2) 天净沙
3) 草

Nokia 6110 - My new cellphone

2007-08-04T23:35:00.000+08:00

Whoosh! I have not been updating my blog for awhile!

So let's see what I have got :

Yeah! A new cellphone! Looks elegant and classy right?! Not very sure why I need a new cellphone. But I do know that my previous phone sucks! Well, not totally but bad enough for me to have a new cellphone.

How bad?

I find it hard to listen to the person speaking at the other end of the phone. This is real bad! Sometime my customer called me at my cellphone and I can hardly listen to them. I thought it was the poor Digi coverage which make the line somewhat unclear and I have no choice but to tell my customer that I will call them back using my office phone. That's not very good! Come on, you can't listen to the person at the other end? Then what's point of having that phone?! Throw it!

Beside, the old phone has a very poor processor. It takes ages for me to finish typing an sms. That's why I don't usually send sms. Unless I really need to save my phone credit. Imagining typing a sms waiting the alphabet appear one follow by another. Darn! Freaking time consuming! I might as well send email. I am so good in typing (thanks to my years of piano practicing which make my fingers undoubtedly flexible and fast responding.)

However, I have to admit that the sound quality of my previous cellphone is better. But the new cellphone is not too bad though. At least it sounds good when I use my headphone to listen to my favourite songs. Oh, the new cellphone even have the FM radio which my previous phone doesn't support ( So stupid, right? ). Never mind, the new cellphone will have me indulge in light and easy, Mix FM, Hitz FM or 988 whenever I am free (especially traveling in the crowded KTM, monorail or LRT).

Oh, how can I forget about the camera!Ooooohh... 2 mega pixel! What more can I asked?! Not that 2 mega pixel is so sophisticated or what. After all camera always keep upgrading! At least it is so much better than the previous phone I have. Thanks to the dirtied lens which always produce blur images. And now my new cellphone is enough for me to capture good (if not perfect) quality photos which I can upload in my blog later. Isn't it interesting! Oooh la la! That's so exciting!

One last thing. It is a navigator phone. It has this navigator feature which will tell the the shortest path from one point to another and it really has the map and everything. But I don't think I need it anyway. Since it takes time for me to figure out how to use it, and it is so battery consuming to wait the navigator getting into position and detect this and that, I somehow gave up. After all, that's not the main reason why I bought the new cellphone. Moreover, the phone is with me now, I have plenty of time to figure that out later. :p

So, I have new phone! Ehem... slide phone some more! Feel so cool every time I slide it open and close. Imagine a businessman take out his phone and slide it open and dial, and listen and talk, and slide it close and put back into his pocket all using ONLY ONE HAND. Ehem... That's me!

I know you're jealous! Bluek :p

Mariah is back!

2007-07-17T13:46:00.000+08:00

Oh, my mariah is so coming back now!!!

Listen to this hot song : I feel it

Wow, very solid and catchy! I feel it! I feel it! Can't wait to buy her album this coming November!

Love ya, Mariah!

SGM RC Performance - Dumpling Festival '07

2007-07-04T13:43:00.001+08:00

Wah!! SGM RC has done it again. We performed in the 歌舞风骚五月五 Dumpling festival event in S.C.A.H. on 19th June 2007.

We performed two songs:
1) 苍松
2）让我斟一杯茅台

I think we did well. And the best RC performance so far. All our voices are good, flawless and we enjoyed singing on stage. Even our conductor cum vocal instructor were so happy conducting us that night.

There are room for improvement though. But we did our very best that night. Very happy, indeed!

That three naught fella post like gangsters.

From the top: Me, David Ngim and Tion Wee.

From left : Miss Woon, David Ngim and Koon Poh

On that day, my best friend, Koon Hoe also did a poem reciting plus singing. His performance was splendid and fabulous! So proud of him! I managed to capture the whole performance using my (not mine actually! It's my sister and her bf's. But I am keeping it now and using it) digital camera.

That 'Happy Father's Day'

2007-07-04T13:25:00.000+08:00

This year father's day was celebrated at Mizi Shabu Shabu. Yeap, almost the same like steamboat. More hygienic I would say. Not gonna say much, just put some photos here.

My elder sister and the younger brother.

Sister and her boyfriend, Thian Hui

Mom & dad

Beautiful lighting & deco

What do we call this things? Steamboat?

Food!! Forgot what set I ordered. Something to do with chicken.

That raw chicken. Yucks!

Some other food on the table.

Me & my mommy!

The big happy family!

Appendicitis

2007-06-28T00:46:00.000+08:00

My brother is suspected to have Appendicitis. Now, he is in Putrajaya Hospital waiting for his turn to consult the doctor. I called him just now. He need to get his urine and blood tested. Poor him have been suffer from great pain since the afternoon.

He has been having appendix inflammatory and feeling stomach-ache (or abdomen pain to be more precise) few years ago. Somehow, things will get better. Mom called him in earlier and said that he should have his appendix removed if necessary. Will see how the doctor say.

We were told not to run and jump after having our meal so that we won't get Appendicitis. I am very lazy to explain the causes of Appendicitis. Just go google and find out yourself. There're planty of detail explaination online (thanks to the internet & technologies). Anyway, I am not sure if playing basketball is the reason why my brother will have this Appendicitis (as he is such a basketball maniac), but perhaps it is one of the reason. Running and jumping before or after meals? I never know if he really take care of himself.

Anyway, have to wait for him to let me know the urine & blood test result. Guess I'll have to stay awake...

English Man Sings Opera; Impresses Simon Cowell

2007-06-15T09:35:00.000+08:00

Now, this is so touching! Fantastic voice!

No More Money!

2007-06-13T23:27:00.000+08:00

I hate myself! I am such a DOG!!!

I actually went back to the KLCC and bought the fragrance! F**k! I am so f**ked up! What am I thinking?!

Anyway, spending RM 240 for that fine fragrance (hopefully) is worthy. I got a big bag, 2 tiny spray bottle of same fragrance and a complimentary drink. Fruit juices imported from France. It's fun watching the 'bartender' mix up the juices and others unknown fluids. Hahaha... Taste nice though.

Can't believe I bought it! I f**king bought it!

Now I have to declare :" I am gonna be broke for the next 6 months!"

No more credit card! No more extra 'gift' for consolation! No more expensive food! No more 'unnecessary' entertainment! (I am gonna say no more entertainment! Sucks!) No more taxi going back home (except those claimable taxi fees)!

I have no more money!

Attitude - Giorgio Armani

2007-06-12T13:07:00.000+08:00

I was on my way back from MBF to the office. I have to passed by KLCC. There was this promotion on a new fragrance by Giorgio Armani. For those who do not know, I am using Giorgio Armani fragrance. It was a birthday gift from one of my best friend, Kavitha. And I guess it was the first fragrance that I like very much.

Anyway, back to the Attitude, I was there in KLCC and without any hesitation I have to go up and try the new fragrance. The promoter spray some of the fragrance on my wrist and I started asking question about the price etc. At first, the smell is kinda like too strong for me. After that, on my way back to my office, I keep smelling my wrist and I think I kinda like it. Addictive!

The smell is, as stated in the flyer, masculine and elegance. RM 240 for 75ml and RM 200 for 50ml. You'll get a free bag for purchasing the 75ml bottle. You know what I kinda like it. But I am just so broke these days. Not only am I broke, I still have debt for my credit card and I have to save some money to buy my own car. I don't even know where to get money and start doing saving.

So, forget about the fragrance, forget about the free bag. Yes, I like the idea of being elegant but I am not masculine enough yet. So that fragrance does not suit me. It does not reflect my personality. (Excuses...)

In order to console myself, I bought Frapuccino at the STARBUCK on my way back. Well, expensive but I still afford to get one. Taste nice too!

Enjoying the drink and typing this blog, I still could smell the masculine and elegant fragrance. Damned!

Something about me...

2007-06-11T19:56:00.000+08:00

Seen many blog and they did this kind of thing... telling everybody something about yourself. Well, I think it's interesting. And I would love to do that something here as well.

3 Current Favourite Movies
i) The Holiday

Love Stories. So in love with this kind of movies. Chic-flicks with a little something deep. Don't know how to express. Perhaps the combination of Jude Law with Gw_____ (Justin ex-gf) and Kate Winslet with _______ (don't know what's the name of the funny actor) is just so not right for me before I watch the movie. But after watching the movie, I found them ok. And seeing Jude Law cry? Ooohh... totally won my heart over!

(ii) 300

Put aside those muscular beefy men who were basically showing off their muscular body throughout the movie. But I find this movie somewhat motivating and artistic in a bloody way.

(iii) Dream Girls

Voice! Voice! Voice! If it is not because of the powerful voice and great music, I think it'll be another "Glitter" movie starring Mariah Carey. Thanks to Jennifer Hudson and Beyonce. Jennifer deserve a standing ovation. I still remember I was so impressed when she sand "I am not going..." I was stunned by her powerful and emotional voice! Bravo!

3 Current Favourite Drama Series
(i) Brothers and Sisters

Ha! Family drama. My favourite so far! The mother was amazing!

(ii) Hotel Babylon

Staying in 5 stars hotel is always the thing I wanna do someday in my future. Love enjoying the 5 stars services. Love the elegance. Love it love it!

(iii) ROME

Direct. Harsh. Cruel. Just what the world is all about.

3 Current Favourite Album
(i) Michael Buble - Calling Me Irresponsible

Listen it almost everyday now. Most Favourite track include : Me & Mrs. Jone, Everything, Alway on my mind.

(ii) Rascal Flatt - Me and My Gang

Nice slow rocks I used to listen to everydauy and still like it. Hot tracks: What hurts the most

(iii) Gary Barlow - Open Road

My first CD I bought. Still love the album very much. Tracks I love : Love won't wait, Hang on in there baby...

3 Favourite things to do during pastime
(i) Watch Movie/drama series

Do this every night!

(ii) Reading books and magazine

Do this every weekend

(iii) KTV

If not because of money issue, I would've done it everyday!

3 Current Favourite Food
(i) Secret Recipe Cakes

Yummy! Yummy! Hi-fibre healthy cheesecake!

(ii) Chocolate

Always love it.

(iii) Junk Food

Unhealthy... I seldom take them but still like to eat junk food once in a while.

3 Current Favourite Drinks
(i) Milkshake (Vanilla or Strawberry)

No doubt about it. I love milk.

(ii) Fruit Juices

Cold icy fruit juices... Cooling.

(iii) Nice coffee, cappucino or mocha (STARBUCK or COFFEE BEAN)

I stopped drinking coffee actually... But talk about the comfort sofa in STARBUCK... hmm... no harm drinking a cup or two.

3 Current Favourite Actors
(i) Ewan McGregor

I think I started to like him because of Moulin Rouge. Goodness! He could sing well too. Later on found him in some other interesting movies like "Down With Love". He's good!

(ii) Jude Law

The eye!

(iii) Keanu Reeves

What can I say after that Matrix trilogy!? Cool cool cool! And "The Lake House"... amazing!

3 Current Favourite Actresses
(i) Renee Shwelnger (how to spell?)

Bridget Jones Diary, Down With Love and Chicago! Fabulous!

(ii) Gong Li

Not sure since when I started to like her. I know her from the Chinese movie - 活着 (Alive).

(iii) Julia Robert

My Best Friend's Wedding, Mona Lisa's smile... She always look gorgeous. Her significant big smile!!!

Tag 3 Friends (for the moment)
(i) Koon Hoe

Perhaps we have this same interest/concept in chinese, in life philosophy, in friendship... Not so close as we used to be but we somehow understand and respect each other very well.

(ii) Koon Poh

Always get to be with him these days perhaps because we joined outside choir together. Practice together and he always sent me back home. Paiseh paiseh... good fella he is!

(iii) Ocean

This cute little fella is so funny. Innocent and naive he could be (or pretending to be) but sensitive and emotional he could be sometime. His sincerity and caring really make him shines!

Stupid strange dream

2007-06-07T22:58:00.000+08:00

I was absent for choir practice tonight. I told them I was exhausted. I don't know which part of me was actually exhausted. Mentally? Nope. Physically? Not really. Then what is it?! I seriously do not know how to explain. I have reached to a point where I just do not want to be tied up. It's like I just want to do whatever I want. And I just don't give a damn!

Perhaps I haven't been having a good sleep lately.

Yes, I was having dreams almost every night these days. I do not know exactly why. I can still re-call last night I was having a dream about me getting married. Inside the dream I was so anxious because I was not ready to get married. And the bride was so into getting married and she was doing all the pre-wedding preparation. I was just there being frustrated and anxious. Stress-up and tension. Of course the wedding didn't happen 'cause at the end I put a stop to it all and I woke up feeling tired and restless! Stupid dream!

So today whole day I was not productive. Kept dozing off in the office. I just couldn't help. And I have no mood to do anything. I just did what I do best - Procrastinating.

I went home earlier today. Missed my choir practice. Tired? Exhausted? Still not sure...

Enjoying life

2007-06-05T23:34:00.000+08:00

I kinda like my life these days. Works keep me busy and not so tension. Even though there are some frustration, I think they are manageable.

I think I don't really enjoy programming. I don't have the enthusiasm to sit in front of the computer and program. I love to think of how my system should be like. But when it comes to work it out (like programming and coding), I somehow cannot proceed. I'll feel bored. And I will start to procrastinate. It is an obstacle! I must overcome this weakness.

I have lunch with Samuel today at IZZI Restaurant. It's the first time I have lunch with our customer. Oh wait! Not actually the first time. I had lunch with HSBC and AIA staff once. Well, this time is ING. Anyway, it's just a normal lunch. Talked about our job and pastime. Nice and easy.

After work have to go choir practice. Promised Tion Wee to wait him at the bus stop opposite of my office. Been standing for more than an hour before I see him arrive to pick me up. Luckily I brought my novel with me and I spent the waiting time reading a few chapters. Well, he cab't be blamed. I understand working life sometime can really un-predictable. He kept on apologizing. Hahaha... he doesn't have to. But he did. And I totally understand. He treated me and Koon Poh dinner before the choir practice. Then he brought me home. We had a good chat on the our way to my home. We really need to chant more to overcome our problems in life.

Well, I actually enjoying life. That's good!

Colleagues just came back from Indonesia

2007-05-29T09:00:00.000+08:00

My colleagues who went for Indonesia to work on a project has come back to Malaysia for one week. They have to be back here to re-new their working permit.

So yesterday is my first day meeting them again after they were in Indonesia for three weeks. Nothing much change for them excpet Hai Yang (Ocean) who gets a little slimmer. He looks better. Nothing much different really with or without them here. I thought I will have an emotional crisis, but I think I am doing fine. Perhaps because we do really keep in touch through gtalk. So, still ok. Anyway, I am glad to be able to see them again and it's fun to be able to see them tell jokes and laugh out loud.

They will have to go back to Indonesia again this coming Sunday for another 2 months. So, I guess by the time they come back, I will be celebrating my 2nd year anniversary working in this company. Wow... time really flies!

This will be another busy week for me... choir practice almost every night for the weekdays. It's tiring to even think about it. Anyway, just go and sing la! This Friday I am going to watch movie (The Pirates of Carribean) with colleagues. Tonight I am suppose to make tickets reservation. Hopefully I am fast enough to reserve sufficient amount of tickets.

This Saturday will become MC for Chin Hong wedding ceremony. After that I will go sing ktv with colleagues. Saturday night I should be resting. For Sunday, there'll be RC chamber choir performance!! Have to start practice!

Many things to look forward to...

2007-05-25T11:30:00.001+08:00

Apparently I haven't been updating my blog recently. Not that I do not want to. But everytime I try to access to the Blogger, the slow internet connection and the feel of typing and expressing my feelings in words just doesn't work. At the end I just give up.

Anyway, I'll try to mention something happen to me recently in my life. Perhaps that'll help me get through this...

Most happening and memorable event recently would be the RC Chamber Choir Performance last Saturday. We performed 6 songs :

1) 静夜思 (Female voice only)

2）天净沙 (Male voice only)

3）在那遥远的地方

4）半个月亮爬上来

5）燕子

6）我的花儿

I guess that performance was so far our BEST performance ever! We receive a lot of positive and encouraging feedbacks from audience. Even the composer, Ah Tang, was very touched and impressed by our performance. We're all glad that we did our best.

Tomorrow I am going to attend another friend's wedding dinner. Sook Siah and I gonna sing a duet - 你最珍贵。

Sunday morning I am going to become the MC for cousin sister's wedding ceremony. And now I haven't even drafted out the MC script. So lazy to prepare!

Coming 31st May I joined Fu Zhong Choir to perform in KLPac. I don't even know whether I should apply for leave or not. Franly, I can't take any leave because I am the only person who support LASS system in the company. Without me, who else gonna entertain our customer?! My boss should really hire a new staff to be my assistant! Sigh... I understand it's not so easy. Anyway, I am getting a new trainee. He will be starting his training here in July under my supervision. Hmm... I haven't even done the planning for the training.

I guess I should not wait for the new staff to come. I'll just train this trainee for only two months and expect him to be good enough to work with me on the development for LASS version 2. I don't care. I target to release the latest, better version of LASS by the end of the year. This should be the ultimate goal of the year in my career.

Next week onwards every Tuesday and Sunday night I will have another choir practice to prepare for the Tan Cheng Lock event. Gonna perform at the end of June and early July. Some of our RC choir member were selected to join the performance. And I am one of them. It should be a good exposure for us.

Coming choir performances :

3rd of June - Chamber perform for Opening Ceremonty at GCC:

1) 天净沙 (Male voice only)

2) 我的花儿

19th June 2007 - at the Selangor Chinese Assembly Hall (S.C.A.H.). Perform two songs :

1) 苍松

2）让我斟一杯茅台

Then followed by August Acapella Night in UE3 Theatre if I am not mistaken. We're gonna perform 3 songs by Ah Tang as well:

1) 静夜思 (Female voice only)

2）天净沙 (Male voice only)

3) Yet to be confirmed.

Wow... this is over-whelming. I guess this is a good thing. Many things to look forward to.

Whitney Houston - One Moment In Time (Grammy Awards Live)

2007-05-23T06:55:00.001+08:00

One of our favourite song of all time! Bravo!

Melinda Doolittle - I Got Rhythm

2007-05-10T15:55:00.001+08:00

Marvalous!!!

Night of melancholy

2007-05-09T09:12:00.000+08:00

I wrote the following poem few years back and I still find it beautiful...

T'was a typical lonely night
The dark sky was still filled with sparkling stars
But I don't remember I saw the moon
Perhaps she was watching over me from behind

The night was cold
Trying to freeze my sinful soul
I closed my eyes and carefully listened
The wind was singing her beautiful songs

I took a deep breath
Melting away all the sadness and sorrow

Written on Thursday, February 03, 2005

eProtea Company Retreat - Together As One

2007-05-07T09:04:00.000+08:00

Just got back from the Company Retreat - Bangkok/Pattaya. Although it is the same place I visited in Thailand last year, I enjoyed more this trip as I got to rest more and the weather was good for me. I didn't bring camera there as the camera was lent to my sister's boyfriend's friend. Anyway, most of them brought their digital camera with them. So, some of them help to take photos of me there.

I enjoyed the 2 hours Thai Full Body Massage. Start from legs to head. I love the most when I have my head massaged. I almost fell asleep. It was very comforting. I wanted to get a foot massage. But I missed it. Slept too much! Hahahaha...

I went to watch Thai Girl Show. It was OK. Another eye-opening show, I would say. In a way, I find it disgusting to see the girls do things with their vagina like open bottle's cover, writing, smoking etc. They even put things like fishes, ribbons, small turtles, blades etc into their body through the vagina and take them out again. What's wrong with them?! The girls didn't seem to enjoy so much though. So, they just perform to get money. I pity them!

Shopping. I went to MBK, SIAM Discoveries, World Trade Center (Central Plaza) and Pratunam market. I bought nothing! Been to the Neraya shop in WTC (Central Plaza) where they sell all those fancy handbags, small bags made by clothes. Very elegant and CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP! I went through the shop and found nothing interesting for me. Save money! But my friends seems to be very interested in buying those bags. I think they spent around an hour in the shop. I was so thirsty and exhausted that I went into the STARBUCK coffee just right opposite of the Neraya shop and bought a fresh orange juice to quench my thirst. Gosh, it cost 60 baht (around RM 6)! Never mind! I was pretty loaded then. I felt a little guilty though at first as I promised Ocean and Yeong Yeong to have coffee together in STARBUCK. However, I was too thirsty. So, don't care anymore!

Hotel :
IBIS Siam Bangkok Hotel
- It was OK for a three stars hotel. TV got lotsa channels. Nice! Love it. I spent quite a few hours watching TV on the last night in Bangkok.

Jomtien Garden Hotel & Resort
- I love this hotel. Although the TV channels very few (only 3 channels if I am not mistaken), they have bath-tub and the room is slightly bigger. It was not those big elegant hotel that I dream of, but I find it comfortable to stay there. Cosy and nice. I managed to steal some times and enjoyed the bathtub with hot water. It was FANTASTIC! Next time I should have a bathtub in my house's toilet. Can do a Jacuzzi perhaps!

New Places visited :
Honey farm
- Nothing much to talk about. Just promoting how good honey can be. It was educational though. Oh and I drank quite a few cups of free honey juice. :p

Leather Shop
- Crocodile skin, snake skin... yeah all things made of animals skin. Mostly bags. Nothing much to see for me! :p

Places Revisited:
Biggest Gem's Company
- Slightly different experience as they have a short movie to brief us on gems. Then only the people walked us around to the gem's exhibition and counters. Witnessed WongSC and Ocean bought some gems. Oh I managed to try a few diamond rings! So fun! :P

Orchid Farm
- Still as beautiful as it used to be. Many lovely flowers. Mom will love this place.

Safari World/Marine Park.
- We missed some shows. We're there only to have our lunch and went through the Wild Animal Zoo. Oh, we were so lucky to witness lion's mating and bull's mating. The tour guide keep saying we're double lucky to witness two animals mating in a trip. It was cool though. We also witness the peacock open its ....ehhh.... tail?! You know what I am talking about la. Very nice!

NoongNoch Village
- Crocodile Show again. Don't really like it.
- Pig shows. Yucks! Filthy and stinky! Cute pigs though!
- Scorpions lady.

Thai Dance and Elephant Shows
- Thai Dance was OK. Maybe I am into culture show. But I don't like the Thai Boxing part and the war part.
- Like the funny elephant show but hate the elephants. They're stinky and filthy! Just like those pigs! Yucks!

More photos...

That weekend...

2007-04-09T17:03:00.000+08:00

I didn't sleep well last night. Not sure if I was stressed-up because today is Monday or I was too exhausted that I couldn't sleep. I kept on waking up a few times. Perhaps, it was too hot. Anyway, I am restless and sleepy in the office. Been dozed off a few times and cannot do anything much - Unproductive!

So I decided to write something here. This should be the most effective way to keep me awake.

The last few days have been very satisfying, fulfilling and memorable. Last Friday night I went to a secondary school friends gathering. I've got to meet Koh Han, Shuk Mei, Yee Huey, Shze Fei, Kenny, Chee Theng & his friends and Ming Wei. We met in Mid-valley and we caught a rather stupid movie - The Hitcher. After movie, we went to Bangsar to look for somewhere like Coffee Bean to have something to drink but unfortunately the shop was going to close. Then we thought we wanted to sing ktv. So we went to The Curve. Before we went to sing, we went to Heaven as Ming Wei was hungry and wanted to eat. The other just ordered drinks and we chit chat. It was fun. By the time we finished our food it was almost 1am. Then we decided not to sing ktv as it's too late and we sat somewhere near the cineleisure and talked again. Tired, but most of us just don't feel like leaving. It has been such a long time since we last met. Anyway, we left at 2am.

Glad to meet them all. Glad to know that they're all fine and healthy. Most of them just started to work and they seems doing perfectly well. Looking forward to meeting them again soon in the coming future. Hopefully more of my friends will get to meet up in such gathering.

Saturday moring I went to Bowling in Mutiara Complex, Jalan Ipoh. I think it was the first time I played blowing in many many years. I thought I am ok in playing bowling. Unexpectedly, I was quite bad at it! The ball had been dropped into the drain many many times. I've got many many zeros!!! However, I was not the worst player. But I was the secod worst player!

The Holiday

2007-04-07T23:31:00.000+08:00

Not that I am having holiday or what. But I've just finished watching the movie - The Holiday. I've been always wanting to watch it but it seems that I can always come out with lots of stupid excuses for me to watch it later. And tonight, no more excuses, I told myself.

Reasons for wanting to watch the movie partly because it's a love story, Kate Winslet and Jude Law are in the movie. I don't know why but I also thought that it is not an ordinary love story movie. Like 'The Lake House', this movie is definitely made its way to the top of my favorite love story movie.

Why?

Well, Actors and actresses are great. Script were absolutely inspiring. In fact, I do not know exactly why I like love story movie. Perhaps it's because I'm still a single man (did I just said 'man'? sounds old! Yuck!) Instead of imagining or fantasizing about how it would be to have a partner and how to love and be loved, such movie give me something to hold on to and believe to. And knowing that most of the love story will have happy ending in the end, it makes me feel great every time I watch'em. At least they make me feel that there's hope for love.

Love the script! Love the story line! Love the acting! Love the sensitivity! Love the complexity of the relationship and how they deal with it! Love that love can be so wonderful!

I can easily relate some parts of the story in the movie to my life and that really feel amazing! It was like how I feel had been felt by some other people across the world and they managed to express the feeling or experience in words and acting. And I suddenly, once again, feel that I am not all alone. And this movie re-assured me that, no matter how complicated a person can be, he can be understood.

Love it! Definitely love it!!!

Blake Lewis -Time Of The Season

2007-04-04T20:15:00.001+08:00

I like this performance too! Yummy!

Chris Richardson - Don't Let The Sun Catch You Crying

2007-04-04T19:58:00.001+08:00

Love this performance. The JT wannabe could really sing, couln't he!

Random Updates

2007-03-20T13:55:00.001+08:00

I am pretty surprised to find out that we are now almost at the end of the first quarter of year 2007. Time really flies when we get older.

Haven't updated my blog for almost a month. I wanted to, but it's either I was lazy or timing wasn't right. Anyway, in the midst of my buzi-ness, I steal some of the time and write this post. Who cares anyway?!

I wanted to write about the movie I watched recently - Dreamgirls. I was so obssessed with the movie after watching it in the cinema with Hai Yang, that I downloaded both the movie and the soundtrack from the internet. I planned to write about the movie but I was so lazy to capture the screen so that I can post it here. And now I have burn the movie into CD and borrow it to Koon Poh. It's even harder to capture the screens now. Anyway, the movie is fabulous! The girls really sing their hearts out! They really have the singing soul!

Then I also watched another movie with my colleagues - 300. Yeah a movie about the 300 spartans fighting with 100000 (don't know how many zeroes follow) warriors. Anyway, the visual effects are pleasing! Some scenes may be very obscene and raw as the legs got chopped off, head got chopped off... bla bla bla... but somehow I still find it acceptable. Maybe because they make it more artistic and less cruelty in it. I don't know how to describe but I think I like the movie. Mostly because of the fighting spirit they have.

So about my recent life. Everything is going fine I guess.

My boss has assigned me to fully in-charge of the CCRIS Project for MAA till project roll out. This really means something for me. I will have the opportunity to learn more on management side and dealing more with the tiny-miny things to run a project. I know I have to make this project a success. Not that I don't have faith in myself. But I think I need to be extra-careful and put extra efforts. This is the time I can prove my capabilities and build the trust my boss have on me. I think he trusts me. Else he wouldn't have let me fully incharge of that project. For that, I must not let him down.

Few days ago, Mr. Ho asked me if I need any trainee. Seriously I need a project partner. I find it hard to work alone. The motivation to work can hardly be found. I actually need a permanent staff to work with. But it seems like the company is not getting any permanent staff for the moment. So I think trainee will be good also. As I will have the opportunity to learn to train a person. And I am pretty sure I will learn more myself too. Not sure when the trainee will be here. Most probably next month I guess.

Last year we were informed that we will get our project incentives by the end of March 2007. To date, I haven't heard any news about our project incentive. I really hope that I will get the incentive this month. I wanted to get a new computer! LCD Monitor!! And I need to pay back my debts too.

By the end of April, I will join my company trip to Thailand - Bangkok & Pattaya, again!

Procrastination is an addiction. I got to know this from Reader Digest. Gosh! I am addicted to procrastinate! I must stop now!

Funny comic

2007-02-26T13:55:00.000+08:00

I can't help but to burst into laughter after I saw the following :

Hahahahaha.... no money and no life!! Freaking funny, yet true in some way.

My CNY Holiday

2007-02-25T23:18:00.000+08:00

Couldn't really think of a good title for this entry. Never mind. I'll just write the content first. Today is sort of the last day of the holiday for CNY. Tomorrow will need to get back to work. And that really sucks! Not that I have a choice.

Anyway, I have had a great holiday though. Visited friends and relatives. Received quite an amount of ang pow. And have great times on my own watching drama series and surfing on the net. I have catch up a few drama series like "Brothers and Sisters", "Desperate Housewives" and also the "What About Brian". I watch the latest episodes of each drama until I need to find some other drama to watch. And these days, I got another interesting drama series : "Dirt" & "The State Within"

"Dirt" is f-king GREAT!!! Mind my words. But that drama is truly amazing. I watch all of the episodes available within two days (it was like 7 episodes?) and I downloaded the latest episode no 8. It was about this paparazzi world and how they get news and stuff like that. Watching them dig the news and stuff like that is amazing! Hahahaha... after all, we human love new stories, surprising stories... And for a busy-body like me, I definitely love to watch this kind of stories where they dig into the secret life of the celebrities. Of course, all fiction, OK! Still it's fantastic!

"The State Within" is kinda political thing actually. Frankly I don't like politic. I still try to watch it because it's about the political issue in US and UK. And the actors/actresses are from both US and UK. I love UK english accent. Sound kinda special to me. And I think they speak good english eventhoug they have to use some obscene words at times. Even the word "shit!" can be spoken elegantly by an english-man. Gosh, I am pathetic! Never mind. Seriously I have hard time understand the whole story (partly because I am so ignorant about political issue between UK and US) and the english spoken were quite different from what we hear in our environment. Anyway, I still want to watch. After all this season is only 6 episodes. :p

Oh today, Sook Siah and Chin Yang visited my house for CNY's sake. Glad that they came. Later Beng Teik and QQ came to my house. Glad that they're couple now. One is my hometown buddy, another is my best friend. Never thought they'd be together, but they are. And I wish them well forever. Bless 'em.

Few more minutes to end the day - CNY holiday. I've got to get back my spirit and motivation to work. It's gonna be a long ride until the next holiday.

My Chinese New Year

2007-02-21T16:48:00.000+08:00

It's Chinese New Year (CNY) starting from 18th February 2007. On the first day as usual, my whole family went to Bunka Kaikan in Cheras to attend the CNY Gongyo Meet. I enjoyed the event as the entertainment session was marvalous. Chinese dance was great and the artistic dance group had put on a fantastic performance! Bravo!

Later on in the afternoon, we went to my auntie's house in Sierramas! Wow, her whole family has moved into a new bangalow! And it's huge! How I wish I have bangalow like that!?! But come to think of how to clean and tidy the whole house up, neh, better have a smaller house. :p

Late evening we went to Peter Leong's house. We have our delicious Kelantanese food there. Yummy yummy!

On the second day of the CNY, my mother's sibling we to my eldest uncle house to have a lunch gathering. As usual, we had lunch there and have our ang pow giving session. Something new about this year: those who are working shall give ang pow to those who are 55y/o and above. Yea, I did give a few ang pow away. I think this is cool!

I love this year CNY! I felt peace. Maybe because I do not have any expectation. I just enjoy the holiday and the visiting. Gosh, I have lotsa new clothes. More shirt this year. And today I am wearing a new shirt to the office. It feels good!

Life is treating me kind. Thankful...

Sao Kong Zao

2007-02-16T09:10:00.000+08:00

Yesterday we had 'Sao Kong Zao' among our colleagues. There're 26 of us who joined the lunch together which was organized by none-other-than 'Brad Pitt' (Brad Ng). Of course, nobody is going to treat anyone. You'll have to pay for yourself. Well, I shouldn't miss this once a year event and I registered myself few days back.

So yesterday we went to this Golden Palace Seafood Restaurant at Jalan Pudu to have our Sao Kong Zao. Nothing much to talk about seriously but the only special thing about this time is that both staff from west wing and east wing were there. We hardly have any meal together except the Weight Gain/Loss Competition and Sport Carnival. Another highlight would be - my frist time going out to have lunch with Merina after working for like one and a half year. And I was sitting beside her. Muahahahaha...

The food there were ok ok. I like the environment - elegant.

Anyway, ain't gonna talk much. Let the following photos do the talking :

On our table

On our table 2

CCRIS team members : King Chung, Wayne and I

The Organizer : 'Brad Pitt'

The following are the Foods :

Happy Valentine's Day

2007-02-15T00:02:00.000+08:00

Ha! Being single and not-so-available does not really celebrate Valentine's Day. Anyway, wandering in KL does give me a V-day celebration feel even though I am all alone.

Basically not in the mood to work today. Perhaps it's because today is V-day. Or maybe CNY is coming soon. So everyone is looking forward for the coming holiday. Whatever it is, I don't feel very comfortable of procrastinating, but I have been procrastinating most of the time today. Bad bad bad me!

After work, I left the company pretty early today (right in front of my boss. I couldn't care more as I seriously need to get out!) and went to the fitness club to work out. Yeah, I have been trying to work hard to get in shape. Oh I upgrade my membership to a full life membership card - Infinity Card. Well it cost me RM 5000++ and I have to pay using my credit cards by installment. So now every months I have to pay around RM 150++ for three years. After that I will only need to pay the yearly renewal fee for RM 88.

Seriously without much hesitation, I signed the renewal agreement and paid the RM 5000++ using my credit card. What was I thinking/doing?! There's a moment when I feel kinda stupid and felt cheated by the 'sales person'. But thinking back this agreement will keep me attending the fitness club for another 3 years make me feel better as it will force me to work out for the next 3 years. Consider that a health investment. Well, not so bad huh?! Besides, I got to go the club at Mid-valley now!!! Yuppie! I was also informed that there will be more than 10 California fitness clubs by the year 2010. Let's cross our arms and see!

After working out, I went to Secret Recipe. Oh before that, I went to buy some important stuff - Underwear! Oops, did I just say that?! Yes, underwear for the new year! Hahahaha... Well, no more red color this year. Ain't gonna tell ya what's like anyway! :p Well, as it's Valentine's Day, I saw lotsa couple wandering around in KLCC. Funny I don't feel jealous or self-pity. Perhaps I have got used to being alone. Or, maybe I enjoy more of being alone. No worry and care-free. Well, I do like those lovey-dovey stuff but maybe I should enjoy my bachelor-hood while I have. Love will come when it's time. So don't ask me when will I have a girlfriend or stuff like that! I am tiring of answering that (boring) question!

Oh after window-shopping for awhile, I proceed to having my lunch at the Secret Recipe. I am surprise their kitchen was still open as it's already 9:30pm. Anyway, I ordered my favourite Chicken Cordon Bleu, an American Brownies and a jasmine green tea. Yummy-licious! The manager recognized me. We chat for awhile. That's very sweet! After that I take public transport and got home.

Well, that's my Valentine's Day! Even though I am still single and nobody to send gift to and receive any gift from anyone, I think it's good enough. If you think being single is pitiful and lonely, well that's what you think.

Love is in the air. Especially on this special occasion. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

In-dependent

2007-02-14T13:24:00.000+08:00

I have an unpleasant early morning today as I was late and the parents kept urging me. It tensed me up and totally screwed my mood. I remained silent in the car on my way to the office. Maybe I was wrong.

Well, I saw Shu Yun online and chatting with her has really cheered me up. I was boasting how smart, good-looking, talented, wise ... I am now. Hahahahahha... I have never been such thick-faced nerd (even though I can be 'hao-lian' a bit sometime). Anyway, it was fun chatting with her. Two crazy people talking non-sense craps. Long time never did that.

I have been trying to write something to update this blog after my senior left the company and how I survive without him. Well, basically nothing much different. When he's still working in the company, he was basically out of the office supporting at client site. So it doesn't make much different without him working in the company anymore. The only thing I know now is that I am all on my own. No more consultation from anyone and have to make decision on my own.

My boss have to demonstrate the LASS system today to a client and he requested me to set up the whole system so that he can do the demo. Having a notebook, I basically have to install everything as most of the software required were not available in the notebook. So I installed SQL Server, tomcat service, load in the application source, database attachement and configuration and many many more. It took me almost 3 hours to set up the whole thing. Thanks to my colleagues' assistance and also Merina's and Koon Poh's sincere daimoku, that I managed to overcome all the problems faced during the set up. Koon Poh's daimoku even got tune ('Xi Yang Yang' tune according to him). Hahahaha... he is such a funny person. Anyway, I am so proud of myself I managed to set up the whole system without supervision. It's a sense of achievement.

Today's Valentine's Day. I have no valentine. So it should be another normal day for me. Initially sister planned to have all of us to go for crab eating. But I don't like eating crab. Very troublesome! And dad will have meeting at client site and not sure if he could make it on time. So we cancelled. Hmm... I might as well go fitness centre and workout tonight.

Also, I visited the 'Brothers & Sisters' website just now and saw the preview of the latest episode. Looks very interesting. Can't wait to download the episode and watch. My guilty pleasure!!! Ayayayai!!! :p

National Classical/Art Song Competition

2007-02-05T13:52:00.000+08:00

Last weekend my main focus was on the National Classical Song Competition. Sook Siah took part in the competition. Being a friend of hers, I gave my full support. I attended the semi-final at 陈氏书院 on Saturday night when Sook Siah sang "七月的草原" and IL BACIO. She said her performance that night was not her best. Interpretation wise ok, but voice projection was a bit "unusual".

Then I also attended the final on Sunday night when I got to see both male and female voice competition. It was a good exposure to me. This is my first time attending such competition. I have to admit sitting there listening to those classical/art song can be very boring at time especially when we don't understand what the singers are singing about. But some can be very interesting. Especially female voice. Their song are more impressive and attractive. Male voice song tends to be a bit dull and boring.

Sook Siah sang "假如你要我唱一首歌" and The Jewel Song. The first song I like it very much. I think I first heard the song few years back in GCC. Sook Siah sang very calmly and steadily. I can't say it was her best performance that night as well. I think she still can do better. Anyway, I am sure she tried her very best. It reminds me of how difficult it is to be in the art and music career. How many hours of practice and endurance we have to sacrifice, not knowing if anyone will really see it and appreciate. Sigh...

Watching so many good singers singing in the competition, I hope I can sing as well as they do. It's like everytimg I watch piano recital, I hope I can play as good as the pianist. Perhaps the purpose of attending such event is to motivate us to do better in whatever we can do. It's not so easy to be a multi-talented person. Yeah I know how to sing, I know how to play piano, I know how to... But which one am I really good at?! I think none of them. Again, I shall choose one and really make myself good at it. I chose piano! Gosh, I haven't practice my exam pieces... (X_X)'''

Grief Group Therapy

2007-02-02T14:56:00.000+08:00

I just finished watching "What About Brian - Episode 6". In this episode, it reminds me of something very familiar...during my depression period. In this episode, it talks about Nicole, a pregnant widow who just lost a husband few weeks ago. Her husband was killed in a car accident.

Well Nicole tried to survive without her husband. Trying to be strong and get over the whole tragedy as soon as possible. She knows she is lucky that she's surrounded by friends who cares for her and be with her as much as they could to make sure she is OK. Being a pregnant woman, it is not good to be stressed. Thus, the doctor advised her to join a group therapy - Grief Group. Of course, she thought it was stupid. She has friends around and she's people to talk to. Why does she need anymore therapy to heal? Somehow at the end, she realises that no matter how much her friends try, they will never really understand what she is going through. That's the part where it hit me right away... nobody really understood what was I going through.

Yeah nobody knows it but me.

This first of all is because I never told anyone, except my family members and some close friends. So I hardly was surrounded by friends who show their concern and cares as much as I needed. Secondly, I thought I should be strong and should never be defeated my any problems or obstacles. But the truth is I just couldn't take it.

At the end of the episode, Nicole finally decided to joined the group therapy and said something that I agree very much. Friends were there for us. Each time they met us they'd ask "How are you feeling?", "Are you alright?", "Is there anything I can do for you?", "You know if you need anything I'll be there for you, ok?!"...etc etc... But what can we say? "I am not alright! And you know I am not alright!" No, instead we will say "I am fine. No worry, I will be fine!" But the truth is they will never understand what we are going through exactly. Nobody will, except those who are going through the same thing.

I was alone. Not that I was left alone as I was surrounded by family members who tried so hard to understand me and support me. But I was still alone because nobody could really understand what was I going through. And somehow I understand why mom said something that really touched me when I was depressing :"Mom cannot help you! But mom will always be with you and will go through this with you!" Perhaps, that's the the only thing that I could hold on to. Yeah, I walked the path on my own. Yes, it was hard and truly, nobody could help me. However, at least within my heart I know, someone is watching over me. And that's my mom.

Well, everyone's trying to be as strong as they can this day. We were also taught to be strong in this harsh mean world. But no matter how strong we are, at times, we can be as fragile as the glass. Gosh, I missed those times when I was pampered by my parents. Guess deep in my heart, there's still a young kid that needs to be protected and loved. Or perhaps I am bored of being strong anymore.

It's funny I was not introduced to those group therapy. I wonder what it'll be like if I joined.... hmm... Interesting!

I was 23... 24 now

2007-01-30T13:32:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday!

I took leave yesterday giving myself my own space spending my birthday at home the whole day!

Something different again this year for my birthday. No fancy 'woohaa' birthday celebration. Only me myself at home enjoying the peaceful moment.

My colleagues had held my birthday celebration last Friday together with another birthday girl, Panacie in "Gai Dai Fun Hei" (皆大欢喜） and they bought us a mango-delighted cake from Secret Recipe! Yummy! It was delicious! Later at night we went to sing ktv. It was fun!

Then next day (Saturday) I need to do an on-site support at HSBC. Feeling bored, I called up Sook Siah to go for ktv again. Then she also asked Koon Poh to join us. That night I witnessed Lee Hom signing autograph for the fans at Sg. Wang. Gosh! It was my first time to be so near a super-star.

Sook Siah and I enjoyed very much singing ktv together. Perhaps we have the same concept of singing ktv. Too bad Koon Poh came late and didn't really have much time to sing many songs as we did. Anyway, we all did have a good time. We went for a tea time after that and chat awhile.

Sunday I missed RC usual morning practice. Chamber choir practice was cancelled as most of us couldn't make it. Well, another day spent at home enjoying my "Desperate Housewives" drama series. Then in the evening I went for a Buffet Dinner at Legend Hotel. It was great. I guess it was my first time having buffet dinner with Mr. Chew. Yeah he invited some of us there. Gosh I ate a lot. Well, it's a buffet. I shouldn't eat too little.

Well... nothing much changed from a 23 y/o person to 24y/o. Somehow the number 24 seems a little strange to me. Gosh I am 24 y/o. Sounds so old! Well, never mind. I am surrounded by people who are older than me. :p

Random Updates

2007-01-19T09:00:00.000+08:00

Life in year 2007 has been good so far. At least I am enjoying every little bit of it. However I received a not-so-shocking news last two days - My senior has submitted his resign letter and gonna leave the company soon. I knew that he will be leaving the company someday. Well, the day will come soon. So I am preparing myself to be alone and independent.

By the way, today is Chao Learn last day in the company. Hmm... will have a farewell luncheon later at IZZI Restaurant. I am not very close to him. But we do have lunch together and it's fun to chat and talk to him. He is very sarcastic guy and is very good at 'bombing' people. King Chung and him have taught me well in being sarcastic! Hahahaha... Well, I'll wish him all the best in his coming future. He told me he might go to Australia to further his study in everything goes well. Else, he'll look for another job.

I haven't started practising my piano exam pieces. So not good! Been giving myself lotsa excuses! Must think of something to push myself to the piano and play.

Oh, I gained some weight. 2.5kgs! That's something good!

I attended the YMD discussion meet this month. So I've won. But I noticed I missed a lot of choir practices. Gosh... must start to arrange my timetable. This coming Sunday RC chamber will have another performance for the opening ceremony of another painting exhibition. There'll be an extra practice tonight at BK. Hmm... it should be exciting!

It's Friday!!

Happy Birthday, mom! I love you always!

The Soka Spirit (Part 1)

2007-01-14T22:17:00.000+08:00

As usual, I have dinner together with my family on this normal Sunday evening. The only different was that my sister and brother were not there. Sister just got back home from Pangkor and my brother was still with his girl friend at Muar. So only my parents and I.

Having only three of us won't stop us from chatting or talking over our daily life. As long as my mom is there, we will talk. I must admit she is the dialogue expert in our family. She will talk whenever possible. I wonder if every mother is like that. I guess every female loves to talk. They were born to talk. Hahahaha... Anyway, I am glad my mother like to talk. And when she talks, I always learn. And each time, even though it is the same topic, I will learn something new. And in this dinner we talk about Soka Spirit.

Realising that I have limited time on blogging, and there a lot to introduce about, I guess I will need to seperate this entry into a few parts.

What's Soka Spirit?

A lifetime of creating value (创造价值的人生）, that's soka spirit. It may sound simple. But do we really practice that in our daily life? I doubt so.

I was born in a Soka family. Following my parents, I practice Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism since young. Never really understand what is the Buddhism all aboutback then, I just follow what was told and just be a part of Soka Gakkai Malaysia (SGM). I attended most of the discussion meet, study meet and other cultural activities. No doubt I was an active member of SGM back then when I was still in Kelantan.

I witnessed the growth and progression of SGM in Kelantan. Yes, last time there were only few members there. But the meetings were always very joyful and happy. Before we have any venue to hold a meeting, most of the meeting were held at my house. My parents would have to start the preparation for the meeting few hours before the meeting start.

My parents would chant first to pray that the meeting will go smoothly and successfully. After chanting, they will start clean up the house including sweeping floor, moving all the chairs, sofa, table, carpet to the store room. Carrying out the white board and marker pen. Then sometimes mom would prepare food for refreshment. All this would take I think about one to two hours. After everything is done, they would then excitedly wait for the arrival of the guest, oops, I mean the member. My house gate door would've opened widely.

I can't remember I helped my parents to do all the preparation. But I do remember that normally I would happily wait for the arrival of my friends. Yeah some member's children. Once a member arrive, my parents would happily greet them from a far and welcomed them with open arms. I will always remember the smile on my parents face. Sincere and sweet. Yes, the warmth. The warm feeling that will cast away all your fears and sorrows.

As usual, every meeting start with Gongyo and Daimoku, sing some songs, meeting and then guidance and then Sansho to end the meet. Then refreshment. Members will chit-chat while having the refreshment. By then we all the children will be sweating after playing. Yeah, we children have lotsa things to play then. Hide and seek, chasing around, "Ji Gong Pak", 205 etc. Not gonna mention all of them here. But everyone will be very happy and left my house with a smile on their face.

Time goes by, the number of members increased. We started to have Sokahan and Byakuren. These people will arrived earlier to welcome the members, similarly, with the smile on their faces. Of course I will have more friends to come over to my house and play. Hahahaha... And it'll be like having party in my house where all the members there and laughing and chit-chatting after meeting. Especially during some special event like SGM anniversaries etc.

One thing for sure, everybody comes and goes happily. The joy and laughter will be with them after the meeting.

RC Chamber First Performance in Year 2007

2007-01-09T13:18:00.000+08:00

This is RC Chamber first performance in year 2007. The performance was the first item for the opening ceremony for the Deng Nai Rong Painting Exhibition. We sang 我的花儿 (My Flower) and it was good. Not the best, but good enough.

Here are a few shots :

The group photo taken right before the performance.

From left : Woon, Yee Lin, Sook Siah, Grace, Koon Hoe,
Koon Poh, David, Ngan Meng, Merina, Tion Wee and me.

Sook Siah and I

Way to go, comrades! It's a good start though for year 2007!!!

Catch RYAN live in concert!!!

2007-01-09T13:16:00.000+08:00

Poster designed by : Grace

The Funny Mistake

2007-01-03T18:12:00.000+08:00

I promised my sister to write the entry. So here you go...

T'was the 30th December 2006. Everyone was busy planning the new year countdown celebration - how the year 2006 should go and how year 2007 should arrive. As for me, I will celebrate the arrival of new year in Koon Poh's new house. That's the plan. But for my sister, she was planning to enjoy the new year eve count down celebration with her friends at the Float Party which was held at National Aquatic Centre, Bukit Jalil. But before that, she needed to buy the ticket, for her friends and also herself.

Since her boyfriend was coming back from campus to join her for the float party, we needed to pick him up at One Utama. Beside there's one Axcess Counter where we could get the ticket. So we went to One Utama around 2:30pm. By the time we found a place to park our car, it was 3pm++ when we finally got into the shopping mall and look for the Axcess Ticket counter. My sister boyfriend, Hui reached there around that time too and we started to search for the counter together. Gosh, it was so difficult to find that stupid counter. We search from new wing to old wing, and then from the old wing back to the new wing again. We spent around an hour to finally figure out that the counter is located right below the center court at floor B1.

Well, at least we found the counter. Unfortunately, nobody's there. The counter was left open there without anyone and we approached the counter and found a note on the computer keyboard. The note stated something as follow :

=========================

Gone out for lunch??!!

I will be back around 4:30pm.
Please call me at 012 - *******
(Mr. Rashid)

=========================

Without any hesitation, I called the number to look for Mr. Rashid.

"Hello, Mr. Rashid! I am right at the Axcess Counter. When will you be back?"

"Oh oh, I am having my lunch now. Can you give me another 15 to 30 minutes?!"

It was already 4:15pm. So I continued "I thought you said you'll be back 4:30pm?! So how long is it gonna be? Can you come now?!"

"No, I am in the middle of having my lunch. I'll be there in another 15 minutes?"

"Alright then, I'll see you later then!"

So, feeling hungry, we went to have our tea break (lunch for Hui) at Secret Recipe. We ordered our food and drink. Then suddenly Rashid called.

"Hey! I am there in the office already! Where are you?!"

"Oh ok! Ermm.. just wanna ask you what's the price for tomorrow float party?!"

"What?!"

"You know tomorrow there will be a float party at Bukit Jalil?! I want to know the price?"

"What I don't know?!"

I thought he couldn't hear me as it was quite noisy then. So I spoke louder, "I want to know the ticket price for the float party. Do you know what is the ticket price?"

"No, I don't know!"

"What?! You don't know?!"

"How should I know?!"

"Huh?! How can you not know?! Are you the staff for Axcess?!"

"When are you coming to the office?!"

I was a bit annoyed. Then my sister and the boyfriend went back to the counter to try to get the ticket. Few minutes passed by and Mr. Rashid called me again.

"Hello! Where are you?!"

"Oh my sister just went to the office! You didn't see anyone there?!"

"No, nobody's here! Where are you?!"

"I am having my tea break here in Secret Recipe! But my sister is going to your office already! Where are you?"

"I am right at the office! Nobody's here!"

"Your office is right at the B1 floor right?!"

"Yes, B1! Beside there has a florist."

"OK OK! My sister is on her way there. Just wait for awhile. I'll call her!"

Irritated, I called my sister.

"Hello, are you there at the office?"

"Yeah, we're there already. The ticket saler is still not there yet!"

"But he just called me and said that he's there already! Any flower shop nearby?"

"Yeah! But there's another customer here waiting for the ticket seller too!"

"That's weird! He just called me and said that he's there already! Why don't you call him!"

"OK ok."

Sitting alone in the secret recipe. The waiter brought the three drink we ordered and asked if those were for our table. He must be wondering how come a person ordered three drinks?! Be placed the drinks on the table anyway. Then the two cakes arrived. Feeling hungry and bored, I ate the cake first. Then few minutes later, my sister called.

"Heen ar, I think the Mr. Rashid you called just now is actually the customer here who is waiting for the ticket seller as well ler!"

"Huh! Really aar?! Shit! Hahahahaha..."

"Yeah, I think so!"

"OK OK. So the ticket seller still hasn't appeared?"

"Nope!"

"So how now?!"

"We'll wait for awhile then!"

What a shame!! Shame on me!! Gosh, that's so freaking funny! I laughed at myself for awhile and decided to call back Mr. Rashid.

"Hello, Mr. Rashid! Hahahahaha..."

"Yes?!"

"Hey Rashid, you're there to buy the ticket as well izzit?!

"Yeah!"

"Goodness! I am there to buy the ticket as well!! So you're a customer as well la?!"

"Yeah yeah!"

"Hahahahaa..... I thought you were the ticket seller!"

"Oh! Hahahahaha.... oh you're not the ticket seller! Hahahaha..."

"I am so sorry, Rashid! I thought you're the ticket seller! Hahahaha.... so the ticket seller is not there yet?!"

"Yeah not here yet! Hahahaha..."

"OK. Never mind! Let's just wait again!"

Feeling stupid yet funny! I continued my cakes and waited for my sister and Hui to be back. And when they're back, the still couldn't got the tickets. Rashid called up the Operation Manager and made a complain. We were asked to obtained the tickets from other outlets. That's stupid! But we have no choice.

We were a bit disappointed, but we kept laughing over the whole funny incident. It's such a cold jokes! We kept talking about it and laughed on how this could be happening. How mis-interpretation on the notes on the keyboard and how I communicate with Rashid. The whole things just made us want to laugh. LOL...

Anyway, they managed to get the ticket after that. The ticket seller finally was there. Thanks to my sister's and Hui's patience and the spirit of never give up. They kept on checking back the counter whenever possible and they got what they want - The tickets to FLOAT PARTY!

New Year 2007

2007-01-03T09:51:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year 2007!!!

That's a good start. Something different for me right between the year 2006 and 2007. I never had a good reflection of year 2006 and never really got a resolution for year 2007.

"How can this be?!"

Well, frankly, I never really did a proper reflection nor resolution last few years. I didn't sit quietly and think back what I'd done and what I wanted to do in the coming future. I was normally too busy planning on how to celebrate the new year countdown or with other stuff. Reflection? Resolution? Hmm... I think I did it once in a while if not everyday.

I think I have had enough of thinking back. Thinking back doesn't help me to go anywhere nowadays. It drags me into the deeper valley where I would never ever want to be. Making resolution is not my talent. I am not a good planner but also a terrible improvisor I guess. So, resolution won't do me any good. It sometime makes me feel worse because most of them(target, mission, vision etc) I won't achieve.

I have taken a whole year of 2006 to recover from my devastating depression. And now I wouldn't say I am fully recovered. Perhaps it is the fear that has taken away my the "courageous" me. I won't force myself to be who I used to be anymore, although I was better last time with high spirit and full energy. But I will enjoy myself now perfecting myself from time to time. Yeah I will get better, but I will take my time. I have learnt that I am just a normal person trying to be better each day. I do realise that I have potential to be someone I want to be, but dreaming big is not for me now. I will take it slow... step by step... no hurry... just enjoy.

Anyway, knowing that I am a lazy bum and have thousand of excuse for me to procrastinate... eventhough I am not a good plan follower, I will still have to plan for myself for this new year 2007 :

1) Take my diploma solo piano examination by the end of the year
2) Improve the LASS system
3) Gain weight and be more than 65kgs by the end of the year
4) Attend at least one Gakkai activities each month (choir practice doesn't count)
5) Saving at least RM 200 each month

OK I've done that. Take a deep breath, here I go...

Christmas Eve - Shinichi Japanese Buffet Dinner

2006-12-29T09:12:00.000+08:00

Again, I am supposed to write this entry on christmas day but I was so sick and lazy to type. I promised my family to bring them for the japanese buffet dinner at Shinichi Restaurant which is located opposite my office building. Everyone enjoyed. I hardly enjoyed because I was so busy with my nose - was having terrible flu. But I am glad I kep my promise. Family does matter the most!

I'll post some photos here and let them do the talking...

The Wedding Dinner

2006-12-24T13:11:00.000+08:00

Last night I went to Mr.s Tong's Wedding dinner. we had a blast. He invited those who had done our FYP under his supervision to his wedding. So there are a few of us attended the wedding dinner : Darren, Boon Koon, Kwan, Allen, Shirley, Nicholas and I.

Before the wedding I am still reluctant to attend the dinner as I might be the only one from my group to be there. And it might be awkward to sit with strangers and have dinner together. But it turned out alright. Nicholas called me in the morning and told me that he is going as well. Goodness!

He took KTM and I picked him up at Kepong station and we went to the wedding dinner which was held in Cheras. He is still that cheerful and happening person I used to know. We haven't met each other since our gradation. It had been more than 1 year! Thanks to Mr. Tong for bringing us together again.

When we arrived at the restaurant in Cheras, we made our way into the restaurant and greeted Mr Tong who was smiling very happily. No doubt it's his big day! Then we were told that our table is number 30. So we went further inside and look for our table and seat. Yeah, it's not so difficult and there were three men already sitting there : Darren, Boon Koon and Kwan. We greeted and introduced ourselves. Everyone was so glad to meet each other. After all we graduated from the same university. There're some, if not all, things that we have in common.

We chatted about out career and current life situation. Life isn't so bad after all. At least all of us has got a job. We made fun and joking around. Yes it was fun. The dinner started pretty late that night. The food was not so bad nor too good. Just nice. But since there're only seven of us, we hardly finished the food after the third or fourth dishes. Oh Mr. Tong sang two songs that night for his wife : 在我生命中的每一天 and 爱拼才能赢.

The greatest moment was when Mr. Tong asked us to ... ehhh what we call that... make a toast? We basically went to each and every table and shouted "Yam Seng". I forgot how many tables there were that night. But we were screaming and yelling from talbe to table just to make sure everyone shouted and screaming as well! At the end of the day, I had a sore throat as expected.

We exchanged phone number and email so that we can keep in touch. It was fun to attend the wedding dinner.

Christmas is coming soon...

2006-12-22T18:07:00.000+08:00

I have no mood to work today! Yes I've said it! Maybe because today is Friday, or perhaps it is because of the christmas season.

During lunch time, Yeong Yeong, Panacie and I went to have our lunch at Mc Donald. Wee Wen was suppose to be there too as she was the one who asked us to be there. She wanted to give us the christmas gift she promised. Well, three of us went there excitedly. Not so excited for me when I found out that Panacie and Yeong Yeong will go to buy some christmas hampers and gifts for tonight company christmas party. Not that I don't like it but thinking of carrying all the stuff just scares me off! Besides my lunch time will be wasted on carrying stuff and choosing stuff. I thought of window shopping for awhile after lunch. But I guess my plan was screwed! Never mind!

Wee Wen didn't show up during lunch time. Perhaps she was too busy with her work. Then we went to shop for the hampers and gifts for the party. We went to Guardian first. I've got myself "Maximum Weight Gain" which I wanted for a long time. I bought the big bottle and I got one small bottle for free. It cost me around RM 100++. People are crazy about losing weight, yet I am struggling to put on weight. How funny it is! Anyway, I hope the powder or supplement will help me gain muscle and gain weight.

After that we went to Isetan to shop. We bought lotsa things there. Some alcohols, chocolates and cookies for the hampers and gifts. And we requested the staff in Isetan to wrap the hamper and gift for us. And then there is the section in Isetan that offer free gift wrapping. I brought all the small tiny little stuff like chocolate and coffee to the section to wrap up all the things. Gosh there were so many and so many people were waiting behind me. Embarrasing! It took quite some times to wrap up all the gifts and we were late to go back to the office. We took the monorail and got back to the office. Yes, many staff watching us walked into the office bringing in big and small bags. But who cares?!

But guess what, Wee Wen met us there in Isetan and brought us christmas present. I got my Lum Hyung Joo CD!! So happy!

Breakfast

2006-12-22T15:44:00.000+08:00

Yes these days I have my breakfast everyday! I did not take breakfast during my university life. Maybe because I woke up too late. So I normally had brunch (breakfast + lunch). And late in the night I would have supper. So basically lunch was my breakfast, dinner was my lunch and supper was my dinner. Ehhh... sounds reasonable.

I was told that not having breakfast is one of the reason that cause my health to deteriote and caused my depression. Well, perhaps it's true. So I need to eat breakfast no matter how paranoid I can be about the hygience issue. To make thing easy, I always buy this breakfast and eat - NASI LEMAK!

To direct translate ' NASI LEMAK', it should be RICE OIL. Yes rice full of petrol/oil. I know it is not good to always eat those oily food, but the nasi lemak stall is just right in front of the monorail station and I could just buy it straight away with just RM 1!!! Cheap and convenient! So without much further thinking, I bought it almost every day! Yeah this week I think I ate nasi leamk for my breakfast!

Then today I suddenly feel very uncomfortable eating it. Maybe it's because of the oil. I suddenly feel that my cholesterol is getting higher and my face was like full of oil. Yucks! I hardly finish the nasi lemak and I just packed and threw into the garbage bin. Having that said, now I wonder what should I have for my breakfast then for the following days to come. I would love to have American breakfast. Yummy! With all the bacons, ham, fresh milk, orange juices... the list never end!

The Naughty Piano Player

2006-12-20T10:07:00.000+08:00

Reading Hsin Ni's latest entry reminds me of how eager I was to play piano during my university life. I still remember I was sent to Multimedia University, Malacca Campus in year 2001. I was very excited as it was the first time I was so far away from home for 1 year. Yeah no parent's supervision and I was... basically FREE!!!

In my university, there is a piano in the Multi-Purpose Hall. Sometime, the hall will be open and students like us may go in and play on the piano. Imagine thousands of students are there in the campus, it is not always easy to get the chance to play on the piano. So normally I never thought of going to play piano in the hall.

Not until the last two trimesters for my foundation year. I suddenly very eager to play piano. I often went to check if the hall is open. And if it is, I would walk into the hall and play. Sometime my friends would follow. I even brought some of my scores from Kelantan so that I could play more songs. I never practice new songs. Just be there and play my favourite songs. Basically showing off!

Then I remember before the final exam of the second trimester, I went into the hall during the day to unlock the back door so that I could play piano in the night. Then later at night. I was studying or doing revision with my friends. After having supper, we suddenly thought of going to play the piano. Yes! I forgot how many of us sneaked into the multi-purpose hall in the middle of the night! It was 2am if I am not mistaken. We got into the hall, turned on the dim light and played the piano. The atmosphere was romantic. It was really cool to play piano in the silent night. The piano sounded so much different at night. Perhaps because of the quietness and calmness of the night. While we were enjoying, we were shocked by the urgent knocks on the door. Then we realised the security guards had heard us.

We quickly turned off the light and got out from the hall through the back door. Yes the door was opened and the security guards found us. They asked for our student ID and we are to be reported at the security office the next morning. Gosh, we were so in trouble! That night I could hardly sleep. I thought I might be expelled from the university for breaking into the multi-purpose hall. Beside, I was the one who unlock the door during the day.

The next morning, I chant for awhile and went to the security office with my friends who were involved. We were there to meet the security officer. We waited for a few minutes and the officer's secretary came and met us. We were told that the officer was not around that day and she basically scolded us and scared us that we might be blacklisted and would be having problem finding jobs later bla bla bla... And yeah, we were truly scared. Well, I was frightened! Then we need to pay RM 25 for the summon. Oh we got a receipt for that too. Reason for being summon : Break into the Multi-pupose hall! I suffer from anxiety for around one whole week scaring that the security guards might found out that I was the one who un-lock the door during the day. There might be CCTV in the hall bla bla bla... Gosh I was a pessimist! Then my friend helped me to figure out there was no CCTV etc and that I don't need to worry.

I swore I would never do that again in my life!

Yeah right, guess what, during my final year last trimester (I was in Cyberjaya campus), my friend persuaded me to go the music room (which was not locked) and play on the electric piano without permission. When we got out of the room, the person on duty caught us and request for our student ID number. I was having depression that time. So, that incident never really affect me much. It does make me anxious for awhile but I was more depressed over other things. So I got over it very quickly. Luckily we were not called for any security officer or received any summon. Thank goodness!

All in all, playing piano was my passion. Even though I hardly have the chance to play piano now, I would never stop playing whenever possible. I plan to have my solo piano diploma exam next year. You bet I vow to make it happen!

I've got my Bonus

2006-12-19T17:18:00.000+08:00

I recevied my bonus for the first time after working in the company for around 1 year and 3 months. Although the amount is not much, less than a month , I am all excited and happy. At least I got my bonus! After all I can't demand for so much as I am still a new and young staff in the company. There are a lot more for me to contribute and learn in and from this company.

Anyway, back to the bonus. Bonus is something extra. That's why it's call bonus, right?! Well, bonus is a reward from the company to appreciate the staff's hardwork and good performance. Well, I heard there is this contractual bonus, which will be given to the staff every year no matter what (unless the company is closed down); And there is bonus given based on staff's performance. As for my company, I think it's a little more on contractual bonus. Where all the staff will receive bonus every year and how much will very much depend on the company's profit for the year. Well fair enough for young company like this.

When compare to other company, the bonus given in this company is considered very low. I know I shouldn't compare. But I have to admit I have friends who got so much for their bonus. However, I also have friends who doesn't get any bonus yet so far after working for more than a year. Hmmm... my condition is not so bad I guess.

Bonus is not only a reward, it is also an appreciation the company show to their staff. Yes, the appreciation is very important. Sometime we tend to work very hard without knowing what is the point. Is it really because to get a better bonus next year? Maybe yes. Who doesn't want a better bonus?! Hmm... But I guess that should not be our ultimate goal.

I think I should improve myself. My technical/programming skills, people skill and writing skill etc. Those are very crucial. Sometime we do not really need to work so hard. It is when you improved yourself and be a skillful person, you'll have the weapons and wisdom to deal with any problem and issues easily. We need to work hard because we're not good enough. When we're not good enough, we can hardly contribute to the company or society. So the solution for getting better bonus is actually to improve yourself. Of course, to improve yourself, it needs hard works! Hahahaha...

So, I need to work hard to improve myself now so that next time I do not need to work too hard to get a better bonus! Hahaha... sounds reasonable, right?! Anyway, I've got my bonus! :p

Gripe over KTM Commuter

2006-12-18T14:00:00.000+08:00

It always make me angry when talk about KTM in Malaysia.

This morning, I decided to take KTM again for work as I want to sleep more. So I wake up around 7:30am today and I thought of catching the 8 or 8:30pm KTM commuter to work. After taking a shower and haveing a very light breakfast, my mom brought me to the Kepong KTM station. The station was crowded. "Great!" The commuter must be late or delay again this time. "Never mind!" I kept myself calm and just bought the ticket and waited for the commuterto come.

After waiting for around 10 minutes, I could see the commuterwas coming from afar. I happily watched the commuter approaching the station and the crowd was moving towards the commuter. But when the stopping commuter passed by in front of me, I saw the passengers inside were already squeezing. Disappointed! When the door opened, I tried to get myself into the commuter and the people behind me were pushing me into the commuter. Gosh! It was uncomfortably disgusting! Thinking of squeezing all the way in the next 20 minutes scared me off. So I got out of the commuter, again need some "hard works" to do that! Then I waited for the next commuter to come.

Luckily it didn't take long to see the next commuter arrive and it was not that bad as the commuter still have some empty space to fit the remaining crowd inside. Yeah no more seat but have some empty space for us to stand at least. Well, at least it is better than the previous one. I stood in the train and wondering when will such condition improve? Are we going to endure squeezing with other people as long as we need to go to work? Now I understand why so many people rather buy a car and drive to work on their own even though they know that they need to stuck in the traffic jam. Even though they need to get up earlier (one hour or more) to spend (or waste) some times in the traffic congestion, at least they are in their own car without the need to squeeze with other people. Besides they can enjoy the music or radio they have in the car more comfortably. But for those people without car (like me), we have no choice but to squeeze with other people and pray that the condition will get better someday in the near future.

Traffic jam... KTM poor service quality... no wonder people nowadays are so frustrated! Sometimes it is not working that annoy us, but the troubles I need to get through when going to and from work that gives us headache! It gets worse when our work loads are high and I can easily got stress-up and tensed up! And I gotta say my productivity will definitely go down the hill as expected! Here you go, imagine if all the people were having the same problem/condition like me, it will be another reason why Malaysia improve so slow! "Malaysia Boleh?!" I doubt so! Not in this case.

Corporate Training

2006-12-14T09:40:00.000+08:00

I have had the corporate training for the past three days in Technology Park Malaysia. This is my first time having such formal and proper course training. I did attend a few seminars conducted by Microsoft, but this time it is a real course training. It was exciting and beneficial for me.

The Course I took : MOC 2779 - Implementing a Microsoft SQL Server 2005 Database
Venue : Asia Pacific Institute of Information Technology (APIIT Sdn. Bhd.) Corporate Training

The funny part was that I am the only participant for that course. So basically we have a one-to-one training session for three days. The trainer/speaker is Rasudin. He is ok. At least I understand everything he said and we manage to communicate well.

Oh we have two boffee breaks each day and a lunch break. This training reminds me of my student life in university. Although it is not really the same thing that I experienced during my university life, but at least I don't have the tension and stresses I get in my working life. I just need to be there and absord whatever offered. Just like attending lectures. It's good. No complicated problems awaiting for solution, just knowledge that feed your empty space in your brain. What the hack?!

Well, I think I was not totally enjoying my "study session" there as I still constantly check my company's email to make sure customers do not "make noise" during my absence these few days. Yes there were some customers needed this and that. I have no choice but to ask my colleague to help out. Sigh... Headache!

Anyway, three days passed by very quickly. I received my cource attendance certification yesterday. The certificate looks nice. By Microsoft!! Hopefully I have chances to go for another corporate training!

Tango Night Chamber Performance

2006-12-13T13:08:00.000+08:00

Tango Night Performance

I was supposed to write this entry last week after the performance but I thought I should download all the photos taken to my computer first so that I can have some photo to put on within this entries.

Well, I guess it was a usual chamber performance. Nothing extra-ordinary or special. But I felt good to have the opportunity to perform again. We once had too many performances and it seems like we couldn't give our best. Maybe because too many performances and we couldn't concentrate on any of them. So we ended up screwing everything up. I still remember the performances at WK GCC after our Choir Competition in Singapore. Both were not good.

Since then, we kinda 'stopped' for a while. Not really stopped. We did have some performances for some exhibition. But were not so satisfying. And here we go... Chamber performance for Tango Night. We sang only one song. We always call the song - "The roses song". But actually that's not the real name. Anyway, it's about roses and some jealousy theme.

Of course the Tango Night got some professional dancers who are the real stars of the night and we were just invited to perform between some dances so that the dancers can change their costume. We performed two nights with the same song. First night didn't go so well perhaps we're still not ready and a little stage-fright. We were not really enjoying. Then the second night was much more better. Perhaps because we were more 'daring'. But as for me, I was thrilled by David's voice (the solo singer, the chamber choir teacher) - dramatic and a little sexy! Wish I could sing like him.

For both two nights, David brought me home and we had the opportunities to chat a little bit. He did advise me to learn some singing techniques and he said that I could be a better "German-style" Tenor. He promised to borrow me some CDs so that I can exposed to those kinda of voices and see if I like it.

Learning is a journey...

Lunch ~ Dialogue

2006-12-08T14:09:00.000+08:00

We had a normal lunch today. But what it so special was two colleagues (who don't usually join us) joined us to have lunch together. They are Nicholas and Audrey. Nicholas has been working in the company for nine months already while Audrey is just working here for about a week. Both of them working in same team (while we are working in another team) under Merina. Today, they joined us for lunch.

It's good that I have the chance to speak to them and to know them better. Sometimes it's so bad of us to just leave both of them having lunch on their own. We should have lunch together. The more the merrier. Besides, dialogue is good. Create better understanding and prevent misunderstanding. Bla bla bla... Moreover, Ikeda Sensei has wanted us to become the dialogue expert. Dialogue is so important that it is one of the way to attain world peace. Hmm... Guess it is time for me to brush up my speaking skill and people skill now.

"Buddhism teaches that 'the voice does the Buddha’s work' (cf. OTT, 4). Our voice is important. We should speak in a way that reaches people’s hearts. And whatever we say should be accurate, true, and to the point. Mr. Toda was adamant about this." ~ Daisaku Ikeda

Anyway, I enjoyed having conversation with them. Since they are english-educated (or they were just speaking english to me), I finally found someone that can speak english with me in this company. I think I only speak english with Merina and Sim (Ms. Poh). Since I hardly have the chance to speak with them, so I normally speak mandarin or cantonese with other colleagues. That's why my english is getting worse. That's not good! Anyway, now I have Nicholas and Audrey to speak english with me... Hahahaha... crazy fella!

Gary

2006-12-06T13:17:00.000+08:00

My colleague want to borrow a CD from me : Gary Barlow - Open Road.

The album used to be my favourite album and I kept listening to it over and over again. After I got bored of that, I kept the CD somewhere in my room and never listen since then. Sometimes I wonder where shall I keep my CDs as I will be keeping on buying new CD as new artist, new music are released every once in a while. Anyway, back to the Gary Barlow. Yeah, he was the lead singer of the famous group - Take That. And he's got good voice. Pure and clean. That's what I like. He later released the second album which I forgot the name of the album. I don't really enjoy the second album. Still prefer the first one.

If I am not mistaken, Gary Barlow then was having cancer or some serious illness that he need to go through some medical treatment. He never release any album after the second one. Kinda sad actually. He is a talented singer. I think he can do better than Robbie William. Not to say Robbie William is not good, but I still love Gary.

The album Open Road consists of some popular song / hits such as "Love Won't Wait", "So Help Me Girl" and "Forever Love". Before I borrow the CD to my colleague, I got the chance to listen to the songs again and gosh, it brings back so many bitter-sweet memories of mine. I still remember I bought the CD when I was still living in Kelantan. And I just realised the CD was released in year 1997, when Malaysia was having the Economic downturn/crisis. And that year if I am not mistaken, I was in Form 2 and I was the monitor in my class. LOL...

Life was simple and enjoyable then. I still remember watching the MTV Hits on TV2 or TV3 (as we didn't have Astro yet then). Of course, Gary Barlow MTV was one of the MTV I was looking for everytime the show was shown. Love the "Love Won't Wait" MTV. But prefer love the song "Forever Love". So sentimental and touching. Perhaps I was those sentimental kind of guy. And still am a sensitive guy. :p

Listening to this album, I enjoy remembering those bitter-sweet memories...

Jazz/Swing Night with JAVA Five

2006-12-05T14:21:00.000+08:00

I was lucky to have the opportunity to attend a vocal concert by JAVA Five last night. A German vocal group consist of five members. All male voice with one guitarist. I forgot how many songs they have sung but I really enjoyed the show. It was interesting to see them not only singing songs in the 20's or 30's, but they also use their voice to imitate music instruments such as bass, trumpet and trombone. I was deeply impressed by how well they can imitate the music instrument and how natural they can sing. They basically enjoyed themselves on the stage and we enjoyed watching them performing, even though I didn't really get some of the jokes they made last night in between their songs. It doesn't really matter, actually.

I still remember how funny the bass sound while the other were basically telling stories through their voices and also acts. I wonder how they practice. It was as though they performed spontaneously without any rehearsal. It was natural. The way they moved and responded to each other were so natural and true. And I love that. They did not look awkward or very-much-prepared. Or perhaps they were spending so much time together and practising together that even a single wink of the eye they could understand each other very well and responded accodingly. That's very artistic! Not to mention their music instrument imitation had made the whole performance much richer and more lively! Oh they even did tap dance! Great great performers!

Since I have to wait for my dad, I stayed there after the show and enjoyed the refreshment provided. And I thought I could take the chance to have an exchange with the performers. Unfortunately I did not have the chance to talk directly with any of the performers. Too many people there and I were kind of exhausted to even start a conversation. However, I got the chance to listen some of the conversation between the performers and other people.

I got to know that the group has been established for 6 years. Still a young group, isn't it? They live in a small town. So all the single guys or bachelors basically know each other. The passion for music has got them together. And they found that the music during early 20's or 30's are very nice, but it seems like those kind of swing music has faded away. So they thought of keeping that music alive by re-introducing it to the people through their performance. That's how JAVA Five is born. And they don't really practice together everyday. They sort of have sectional practice on their own and come together once a week to practice or rehearse together for around 6 to 7 hours.

So they have the passion, they have the mission and they have the objective that keeps them going. As a member of Renaissance Choir, somehow I wonder where have our passion, mission and objective been going? Have we forgotten or still holding them tightly? I wonder...

Anyway, I got to take some photos with the performers before I left. Something to remember though... Nice!

Unproductive

2006-12-04T13:40:00.000+08:00

I have been very unproductive recently. I found myself turning into someone useless and ... just not good. I am little scared of doing reflection lately as I am afriad too much of thinking will allow negativities to surround me or conquer me once again in my life which might result to another depression that I definitely DO NOT want to experience again.

Anyway, back to my unproductivity. Perhaps I have been worry too much, thinking too much and have too much fear within me. As a recocovering patient, I am glad that things are getting better where I don't worry too much or think too much. But, while casting away all my worries and fears, I started to realised there are so much things that I have to do are not done. Worries and fears have prevented me from doing them.

I used to be so courageous and always in high-spirit. Challenges and obstacles were never a problem to me. Believing that as long as I walk even one step further, I will eventually reach my goal. Like preparing my grade 8 solo piano examination. I have no fear or imagining and dreaming that I will pass my piano as long as I keep practising whenever I have time. And yes, I was busy with my university assignment and only will be able to be at home with my piano during the weekend. Within 3 months time, I managed to prepare all the repertoirs and passed my examination. It was something great! Something to be proud of. I dare to dream and I dare to face the obstacles.

And now, after the depression I had, I feel that I have been a weak person. Like a falling leave that can be easily blown away by a soft wind. Yes, I have been weak. I have been drifted away. No direction. No objective. No target or what-so-ever. Simply live a life like a normal person. Constantly reminding myself not to act stupid and be careful of the steps I take. It's funny that the more careful I am, the more dumb or stupid I will be. Also, I have been constantly reminding myself not to be too excited not too devasted. Whatever happened, just face it with a normal heart. It'll be easier, I guess. Or perhaps, I think this will be more secure. Happy it is, Sad it may be... guess that's life.

Of course, knowing that I have been weak is not enough. I must become stronger. I need to be productive. Need to be someone who can contribute. I can't be drifting away all my life. I must have a direction, an objective and something to achieve in life. I have been worry too much and that makes me weak! I know it take times to cast away all my worries and fears. I need to be patient. Step by step, bit by bit, I am sure I will come out of the darkness and soar into the big blue sky.

Don't know what to write...

2006-11-30T14:10:00.000+08:00

I typed and deleted and typed and deleted. I tried and tried to write a new entry but nothing come up. I used to write a lot. I had no problem writing anything. But now I have problem writing the thing I want to express and that really sucks! Being able to see and feel a lot of thing are good. But it is lonely. Being able to share whatever you see and feel, that's rich!

These days I tried to write something for this blog. I thought about many things that I want to write. But after typing a few sentences. I found it crappy and I delete everything. Not only did I tried to write at night before I sleep, I have also tried to type during my working hours as I thought I might be too tired at night to think or type anything. But it turns out that even during my working hours, I can't write a proper article.

So what happened actually? There are a few causes that I can think of :
1) I haven't been reading lately.
2) I seldom write anything after graduating from university.
3) I hardly talk or chit chat with anyone longer than an hour.

Yes the read, write and speak. Those three things should be exercised and practiced everyday to improve your language. And yet, I totally ignored them. Is it because I am too busy working lately? I think it has become my excuses for many things! Urgh! I hate myself when I do that!

A Sense of Victory

2006-11-24T00:15:00.000+08:00

My sister has not been able to access to the internet for a few days. Something wrong with her network configuration and setting. I've also tried my best to help investigate the cause of the problem and have been checking the connection for a few days. And today, I finally solve the problem and sister can now access to the internet. It was the DNS Server configuration. The DNS Server address were not defined. That's why she couldn't connect to the internet.

I totally understand the feeling of not being able to access to the internet. So manything were done through internet nowadays. I wonder how my life would be without internet. I suddenly realised how much my life has got to do with internet. Download movies, songs, chatting with friend, writing blog entries, surfing internet bla bla bla. Gosh, that's what I do daily! What am I to do without internet. Life would be very boring!

Hmm... I wonder if this is a good sign. Am I depending too much on the internet?! Is it good to be attached to, or depending on the internet so much? How should I spice up my life without internet?

Spending my pastime watching movies downloaded from the internet are great. I enjoy my personal space there and of course I also enjoyed the movies/drama series. I have also downloaded lotsa mp3s. I can listen to variety of songs from classical to funky pop and sometimes I don't know what kinda of songs I really love and want to listen to. Writing blog is something interesting for me too. Even though most of the time I am lazy to write (type), but I enjoy reading my own "works". I also enjoy reading other's blog and it's interesting to see how people write about their life or their thoughts.

Many more things can be done with the internet facility. But surely there are some disadvantages if we're too hookep up with internet. A person would be more dull. Our people skill will be going down the hill. Health would be deterioting as well if spend too much time in front of the pc. And the list never end here. Internet may spice up our life, but let's not let it be our whole life!

Anyway, I am glad I managed to help my sister to get access to the internet. I felt great. I contributed. I manage to help. I am not the dumb and stupid person. It boost up my confident. I feel a sense of victory. And I am feeling good!

Ryan's Celebrity Look-A-Like

2006-11-21T23:09:00.000+08:00

Look how funny (and stupid) it can be?!

How are you?

2006-11-21T13:55:00.000+08:00

"How are you?"

How simple and plain it is. I could not remember I was properly taught about the phrase. What's the meaning? Why we need to ask that when we meet someone? We know how to use it, but the question is, do we mean it?

There're so many time I receive email or when I chat online, and I have to answer the question "How are you?". Normally I would just response with a "I am fine.", or to be a little more polite, I would add "Thank you! How about you?". I sometime find it awkward to be asked that question, especially by a not so close friend or a total stranger. How would I response? If I am good, well, I would just say :" I am fine." But if I am not so good? I couldn't just say I am not good, could I? I wouldn't want to share my sorrows or troubles, or problems with a stranger.

However, that simple and plain little phrase can mean so much when asked correctly and sincerely. It is a way for you to show your love and care to your friend or the one you're close to. I remember being asked that question when I was down and low by a friend. I didn't know how to response, but I felt warm. At least, I would smile to response to the sincerity and kindness.

It's Friday...

2006-11-17T08:39:00.000+08:00

Checked my mail this morning and got the following Sensei's Guidance. It's such a good guidance to start the day...

"Living as we do in an age of intensifying turmoil and complexity, it is all the more essential that we launch—with a powerful rhythm of hope and a stirring song of courage—a fresh, vibrant, new momentum pervaded by the noble qualities of eternity, happiness, true self, and purity." ~ Daisaku Ikeda

My Vacation In Thailand

2006-11-16T13:53:00.000+08:00

I am just so lazy to talk about my Thailand Trip. I tried very hard to write (type) but I just couldn't continue. Nothing much to talk about seriously. The only thing I enjoyed doing was taking photos and have my vacation there.

If you wanna know about what kinda show I went, alright I went to see Aqua Show and also some 3 in 1 18SX adult show. Enjoyed the first show. The Aqua are beautiful as expected and the performance was grand and happening! I am not sure if they're really talented. Most of the song performed were lip-sync. So, not their true voice. However, the show was OK.

The second show (3 in 1 thing) were yucks! Not that I don't enjoy porn or what. But some of the item in the show were just too rediculous and pointless! Besides, I felt very uncomfortable watching them doing stuff with all the crowds there!! What make it worse was that, some of the audience were "invited" to perform with them on stage! Urghh!! Not my type! Anyway, it's truly an eye-opening session! Luckily I never go to watch Tiger-show. I heard it's more extreme!

Hmm... anything else? OK, I went for the para-shoot (what's the correct spelling anyway?) Yeah, that was FUN! I was nervous at first. But when I was up there in the sky, I spread my hands and fly as if I have wings! It was an amazing experience. Only RM 35 for one round! I guess it worth the price as I felt good flying in the wide blue sky!

Bangkok was just a normal city to me. In fact I feel KL is more developed than Bangkok. Perhaps the places I visited was not that developed yet. :p The tour guide was right : There are only one time that Bangkok will have traffic jammed. That's from morning till night! Anyway, the city was OK for me.

Pattaya. Hmm... I thought Pattaya has a nice beach. But the beach I went was so crowded. Not actually crowded by people but the chair and the shade for the tourist to rest. However, I had a great time playing ball in the water with my colleagues. We were playing the "Monkey" game where one of us will be a monkey to catch the ball from others. We had fun! Yeah there're a lot of pubs and bar. But they're just not my type. And girls standing beside the road trying to "gain some money". Very "yucky" for me! Don't like that! Too unclean! I noticed some pubs playing good music (those sentimental music), but it's just too late and I doubt anyone were interested to join me to go there. Besides, we were so broken. Lack of Vitmain M!

Alright, can't write too much. It's getting late. 12:32am already! I'll include some photos with caption. This will briefy explain my vacation in Thailand.

We catch an early bus at KL Sentral to LCC Terminal.

That's the flight we took when we left for Thailand.

Before we enter the immigration.

Have dinner on a boat. Felt like cruising. It was great!
The guy with red Box shirt was our tour guide.

The 5 photos below were taken in Grand Palace

Angkor Wat model in Grand Palace

Nice flowers.

Clockwise : Pei Nee, Siew Chyn, Pui Chen,
Ji Qian, Jian Ping, Brad, Chia Ming & me.

At the beach in Pattaya

Bangkok City

MRT in Bangkok City

The only white in the black crowds.

In Safari World

The night before I left for vacation...

2006-11-09T01:25:00.000+08:00

I will be going to Thailand tomorrow early morning. It's already 1:34am. Oh I will be actually going to Thailand today. I have to wake up 6am in the morning. Guess I'll have less than 5 hours sleep this time. I don't feel sleepy at all now. Perhaps because it's passed my "sleeping time". Or maybe because I'm just too excited as I'll be off for vacation tomorrow.

Packed my stuff and I really hope I won't miss anything. As usual, I normally take more than enough clothes when I go "out station". It's just a sense of security. Just in case I need more clothes. Who knows? Weather may be too hot and I could sweat easily. Or I fell into a mud and bla bla bla...

What I am looking for in this trip to Thailand is to really enjoy life. I hope I get sufficient time to enjoy my space and time. I was told that this 5 days 4 nights trip is fulle scheduled where we will be going to visit here and there. Hmm... I will need to make full use of my digital camera! I have bought a 1GB mini SD Card so I can take as many photos as I wish to. Moreover, I have also bought an MP3 player (with 512MB memory space) loaded with all my favourite songs. This will ensure I won't be bored! Hahahaha... Hmm... I have also bought a necklace and two bracelet. What for? I am not really sure. Perhaps wear them in Pattaya.

Anyway, now I can't save this entry because there're some internet connection problem. Perhaps the Streamyx server is down again. I can't wait any longer. I really need to sleep. Tomorrow have to wake up very early.

Been touched by the spirit of Mentor and Disciple

2006-11-08T11:23:00.000+08:00

Last Sunday, Mom had asked us (my sister and I) to attend the SGM All leaders Meet which was held yesterday. Yes, I have to admit I had been absent for the leader meet these days due to my busy schedule and workloads. Anyway, mom was telling us that we must not miss the meet this time and insisted that we have to arrange our busy schedules and bring ourselves there no matter what! OK, so I prayed and tried to arrange my time.

So, yesterday I tried to finish all my works before 6pm. Dad called me before 6pm to confirm my attendance as he needs to pick me up later at around 6:30pm. I confirmed that I will be going. It was raining pretty heavily. Since I have promised mom to be there, I have to go no matter what. So I left my office around 6:15pm. By then I realised it was raining so heavily that everybody was waiting at the entrance as they can't walk under the rain even with umbrella.

"Great!" I said to myself. Actually, the Monorail station is just a few steps away (I mean like 10-20 steps) from the entrance. But I hate to get wet! Time won't wait. It was getting late and I have to keep my promise. I could imagine how mad mom would be if I didn't go to the meet. So without much hesitation, I ran under the rain to reach the station. Gosh! The rain was cruel and merciless. It was like thousand of bullets hitting on you (just that not strong enough to go through your body). Of course, by the time I reached the station, I was totally wet! As if I fell into a pool and just got out of it. Yucks! I waited for the train for a few minutes feeling cold and nothing much could be done. When the train arrived, I got into it. To make thing worse, the train is air conditioned and I was totally wet! Great! I reached the Imbi Station and my dad was there waiting for me. I got into the car and headed to the destination.

So I finally got there. As usual the meeting start with Evening Gongyo followed by announcement. Then there was sharing session from those who attended the seminar in Japan. Then encouragement from the General Director and watching videos. Of course the highlight of the meeting (for me) is about the video. Mom wanted us to be there to watch the video. There was a performance by SGI America members.

Frankly it was not an extra-ordinary performance. Just some well-known musician and artist playing instrument and singing. What make it so special is because of the spirit the performers displayed that touched my heart. Like my mom said :"They performed whole-heartedly!" Yes, WHOLE-HEARTEDLY! The sincerity, the eagerness to perform for the mentor, the message they wanted to convey, the gratitude they wanted to show, the appreciation and the tribute of life that make such simple performance an extra-ordinary piece of works.

I still could remember how the performers sang. Every word speaks! Every sound rings!That's how they sang. Yes, the message of joy, peace and hope were well-delivered. They wanted to let their mentor to know that, no matter what, as a disciples, they will be by their mentor's side. They vow to continue their mentor's works, and work ever so close together with their mentor. Obviously, our mentor, Dr. Daisaku Ikeda was also deeply touched by their wonderful and splendid performance. Besides praising how amazing the performance was, he also return their sincerity by playing on the piano. Again, even though the piano performance by our mentor was not outstanding, the sincerity and the gratitude shines ever so brightly. And that's very touching!

Tears running down my cheeks again last night. And this time not because of sadness, depression or hopelessness. Once again, I found life, happiness, peace and feel the connection between mentor and disciples. I was once again being touched by the spirit of Soka Gakkai and the spirit of mentor and disciple! I am so blessed!

Thinking back of the pouring rain earlier, I found the rainbow appears deep in my heart that will never fade away...

Sleeping Disorder / Insomnia?!

2006-11-08T09:25:00.000+08:00

I have been having problem sleeping. Insomnia? I doubt so. It's not that I cannot sleep but I just couldn't sleep soundly. In another words, I am just half asleep. I pretty well aware what is happening around me when I lying on my bed "sleeping" in the night. And then I would have weird dreams that keep me frowning all night long. It was not nightmares that wake you up finding yourself horrified and sweating. It was some dreams that keep your brain busy. Like solving a complex mathematics questions!

My sister said it's because I watch drama series before I sleep. It will keep my mind busy and will bring such busy-ness into my dream. It does make sense in a way. However, I still want to watch. That's the only leisure I have after my long stupid working hour in the office!

Not having a quality sleep is a disaster for me! I would be unenergetic and unmotivated the whole day. I am a physically weak person : Easy to get sick! I am not a mentally strong person neither : Easy to be depressed. As a depression recovering patient, I should not think too much (especially about the negativities...). So screw it! Come what may... Sometimes courage arise when you have no other

I hope my working life keep me busy because being busy will not make me sleep in the office! Besides, I won't think too much when I am busy with work. I think I will be more healthy being busy. Crazy but it's true, somehow... :p

Michael Buble - Caught In The Act

2006-10-27T09:04:00.000+08:00

I was back home early last night. Before I hit the sack, I watch a Michael Buble - Caught In The Act concert. OK, I have to admit I downloaded the whole show/concert from the internet quite some times ago. And I had never really watch it from the beginning till the end like I did last night. I was just fast forward and see it the quality is good. Yes, the quality is definitely good. Else, I would've deleted it!

And so I adjusted my computer monitor so that it face my bed. I was sitting on my bed hugging my small pillow and with my back on the wall. I sat back, relax and played the video/cd/or whatever you want to call it. I am so glad I bought a good speaker with woofle. (Have I spelled it right?) The sound was good! I could feel as though I was in the concert hall listening to Michael Buble. Damn! He was good! I mean he IS good! Love his classic, sexy and naughty voice! No doubt he drove the audience crazy! I enjoyed every single minutes! Eventhough right my CD kept hanging somewhere at the end and I have to copy the whole clips to my computer and resume from where I stopped, I definitely enjoyed the show.

I am a little disappointed as he didn't sing "You & I" in the concert. That's one of my favourite song (which was actually sung by the talented Stevie Wonder) and I think Michael sings it quite well too. However, Michael did put up a good show over all. He is such a humourous entertainer. As I said I enjoyed the whole show and I didn't feel bored at all listening to all those jazzy old classic songs!

Damn! I am so in love with those jazzy songs again...

My wasted holidays...

2006-10-26T11:55:00.001+08:00

I have been wanting to update my blog these days. But everytime I open up my internet browser, I can't help but to open up my email, clean up the junk mails, read my mails, sign out and browse to other sites. At the end, I will feel tired and have no mood to write anymore.

In my everyday life, I have seen a lot of things. Some are big, some other are small little things that I thought I will write into my blog and share. Too bad I end up forgetting what I wanted to write. At some point, I think it's a good thing to be able to forget and move forward. For a person like me (who have gone through depression), to forget was SO freaking difficult. And what I rememberred were all bad, negative memories... That sucks!

I feel happy these days. Have had my five days holidays due to Deepavali and Hari Raya. I enjoyed staying at home waking up late. Watched my favourite tv programmes without worrying time was flying by. Downloaded some movies and drama series. Enjoyed watching them in my own room. I have to admit I am really good at procrastinating. I have no problem wasting time! I would feel a little regret after wasting time. But I've learnt that no use regretting over something that we couldn't take back but to look forward and keep a cheerful heart.

Yes, life has taught me not to feel sad or despair. I started to get used of being disappointed and being hurt. As long as I keep my head up and have a peaceful mind, my heart will not beat any faster or heavier. And I learnt to have faith. Yes, faith!

In that five long days, the only thing that I am proud of is that I mopped the floor. That's it! The rest of the time, I spent on watching tv, surfing on the net, sleeping and eating. Oh, and of course playing my piano once in a while.

I have watched the movie 'Click' during the holiday. I think the movie is awesome! Very touching at the end. Moral of the story : Family come first! I am so agree with that. I love my family, forever and ever.

Nothing more to write... for the moment.

Justin Timberlake - Futuresex/Lovesound

2006-09-13T09:16:00.000+08:00

Finally the long-anticipated album has been released! I bought it YESTERDAY!!!

Renaissance Chamber Choir Performance

2006-09-11T09:13:00.000+08:00

Renaissance Chamber Choir performed two song at the opening ceremony of "Oneness with Land & Co-existence with Society Acrylic Watercolour Exhibition of Chen Chia-Shang".

The songs are :

1) Getaran Jiwa (悸动的心灵)
2) Ye Lai Xiang （夜来香)

The performance was good even though we were unsure the right pitch at the beginning of the second song. But everything went well after that.

From left : Chin Yang, Yee Lin, Ms. Woon, Hsin Ni, Kuan Yee, Grace, Merina, Melissa
David, Koon Poh, Me, Tion Wee, Zi Shen, Koon Hoe

ATMAH Project Treasure Hunt 2006

2006-09-11T09:06:00.000+08:00

I have joined the treasure hunt with a few colleagues last weekend. It was fun. No time to write. I'll post some pictures here and let them do the talking.

Karaoke Session With RC

2006-09-05T23:14:00.000+08:00

This is interesting. Some of our RC members went for a karaoke session at SOGO RedBox last Saturday. It was a blast!!

I still remember I had a deal with Koon Poh that we're gonna sing karaoke on 1st September. Nothing special about that day. It's just because I was sure that I would've got my salary then. Which mean I would have money to go for some entertainment.

Then after the Singpore Trip, we found that there're actually quite a few of us who can sing. Well, actually all of us can sing. I mean karaoke maniac! So after some discussion and arrangement, we decided to go on 2nd September.

I enjoyed singing Hokkien song with Ms Woon. She taught me a hokkien song few days back. And we danced and sang like there's nobody there. It was really funny and memorable!

Ms. Woon really like to make funny voice and jokes around with her special voice and sound effect! I joined her at times to add the fun! Hahahaha... I also enjoy being the back-up singer and dancer when other were singing. (Guess I am being an idiotic person!!!)

Well, I got to sing quite a number of songs too. After screaming and yelling like a patients who has just been released from Tanjung Rambutan, I don't think I sing professionally well that night. Just enjoy the singing session. But I found there're a few people who can really sing well such as Sook Siah and Koon Loong.

Sook Siah was having flu and not really feeling well actually. But she still attend the karaoke session and had fun with us. Guess she really love to sing. She sang pretty good that night. Eventhough she is professional and singing classical song, she can sing pop songs too!

It's really an ear-opening for me to have the opportunity to hear Koon Loong sing that night. I was told earlier that he can really sing well and often sing karaoke. Not that I don't believe he can sing well but I really want to listen with my own ears. So that night I got the chance! Damn, he can sing! Everybody was enjoying his low sexy voice... ehem, well I have to agree with his self-claimed title - "The KTV King!". Bravo, brother!

We sang until 12am++ that night. The only thing that I dislike about the whole session is that the food SUCKS! Neway offer better buffet! But it's amazingly cheap. Only RM 34 per person.Hmm... what more can I ask for?!

I enjoyed the karaoke session. I guess it's so far the best karaoke session I've ever had in my life! Thanks brothers and sisters!!! Love y'al!

Life is getting boring...

2006-09-05T08:58:00.000+08:00

I realised my life is getting less interesting as I grow. Perhaps because most of my time is spent on working. The remaining time which is so little is spent on choir, I guess.

I missed my student life when I could choose not to attend a class or wake up late in the afternoon. I missed the time when I could do anything I want at anytime as long as I finished my homework and assignment. Time was not a constraint to me.

Gosh, I really need to spice up my boring life!

声音

2006-08-29T01:08:00.000+08:00

声音是人类与生具有的宝物。合唱微妙之处是将不同的声音联合在一起，共同发挥，相辅相成，并产生美好的合声。

让我在此呼吁：
用我们美好的声音，传达和平的讯息。
用我们纯净的声音，洗涤污浊的心灵。
用我们悦耳动听的声音，为这世界传送爱心与温情。
世界会更加美丽，只因为有您的声音！

Singapore Chinese Choral Festival

2006-08-28T08:36:00.000+08:00

So I have returned from Singapore 8 days ago. I didn't really have time to write down the experience, the feelings and those wonderful memories then. I was too busy. On the day I reached KL, it was 4:30am in the morning and I basically slept through the day. At night I have to become the MC for a choir exchange in WKSGM (Wisma Kebudayaan Soka Gakkai Malaysia). It was a disaster! I mean I was quite blur and there're a lot of sudden changes in that event. However I think I still managed to handle.

After that I was so busy with downloading the photos from my sister's digital camera. Since my USB port is no longer functioning, I have to use other's pc to get the photos out of the camera. I have gone through a lot to get them (the photos) out of the camera and view them. Then I excitedly upload the photos to Picasa Web Album and share them with other choir members. I'll post some of my favourite photos here in this entry.

Considering the time I have now, I don't think I'll be writing down all the experience in Singapore. I'll write down some important events and things that I've learnt through out this trip.

The journey to Singapore was a pleasant one. At least I never experienced any dizziness or felt like vomit. The bus stopped a few times for us to go to the loo and "have brunch". I sat alone in the bus (even though there were two seat, I basically put my beg on the seat next to mine). So I tried to rest and sleep. But I couldn't sleep in the bus. I thought it's a waste to sleep. But almost everyone closed their eyes and rest. Perhaps it was too early in the morning.

Taken along the journey to Singapore

The first day in Singapore was nothing much to talk about. We just went for the rehearsal and practice for awhile. I was tired, actually. Oh, our accomodation was not as good as I expected! We slept in a bag-packer's kinda accomodation. Anyway, it turned out that the bed was not too bad. At least I could sleep through the night.

In front of the Singapore Conference Hall

The second day was something memorable for me. I did a sharing in the morning and also before the competition in the evening. I made some of them cry with my touching "sharing and encouragement". Even me myself was quite touched when I saw all the members got together, holding hands and believing that we will all give our best in the competition. Yes I did bring all of them together, once again and march towards our ultimate goal - to bring joy, hope and happiness to everyone around us. I am so proud of myself! :p

Ms. Woon being the superstar

The Idiotic Brothers

We did not get into the final. We've got the silver awards. I think it's very good as it is our first time to participate in a choir competition (international level somemore). We definitely learnt something out of the event and also exposed to the world of choir. I saw other choir's performance and they do have their own ability and strength that our choir does not possess. However, I will strive harder to improve myself and contribute.

Of course we have a chance to walked around in Singapore during our lunch time or breaks. Honestly, those food I tried were not very tasty. Perhaps I did not go to the right place to have my meal.

Anyway, I have a chance to have tea with my dear Ms. Woon. We love having "cham" (tea + coffee, also known as Hainanese Tea). We also ordered a toast and shared. It was a great afternoon tea break.

I also have a chance to walk around Singapore with one of the "M.I.A." member, Koon Loong. I think we last met and spoken was at the end of year 2004. We did met after that but it was sort of a "Hi Bye" thing. And this time he being the nanny of the choir, we really have time to hang around in Singapore and taking photos. He was good in capturing some beautiful scenes in Singapore. We enjoyed helping each other taking photos in Singapore. It was fun!

Koon Loong and I in the MRT

At China Town

At Orchard Road

At Night in China Town

The last day in Singapore was another memorable day as we got to have an exchange with Singapore Soka Assocation Choir. We were warmly welcomed by the members and have a very good exchange. I shared my experience about my depression and how I overcomed it with all the members there. Again, my sharing made most of the audience cry again. But I am sure that my experience sharing will definitely encourage all the members to strive harder and face the challenges courageously, and motivate them to contribute in whatever field they are in. I have won!

Night Scene near Fullerton Hotel

Marina Bay

The Fullerton Hotel

Singapore, here I come...

2006-08-17T09:01:00.000+08:00

I am going to Singapore tomorrow! Thought of writing something down before I leave for a few days. I went home earlier yesterday so I can do all the packing and stuff.

I bring a lot of clothes this time. I think more than enough for the 4 days 3 nights trip. My sister gave me her "toileties bag" which contained syampoo, body syampoo, conditioner, facial foam and a handkerchief! Then her boyfriend borrowed me S$120. My mom gave me S$5 and my dad gave S$2! Aren't they sweet! I am so touched! Hahahaha... I don't even need to go money changer to change my ringgit to Singapore dollars! How lucky I am!

Tonight I'll be staying over at my comrade's house as his house is nearer to Bunka Kaikan (where we will assemble there the early next morning). So I have brought all my stuff (2 big bags and a pair of my shoe) and loaded into my dad's car. He will be bringing to WKSGM and pass them to my comrade.

Oh, I will be having lunch with Jun Hann later. He is my ex-roommate when we're studying in MMU alpha year (foundation study). I saw him yesterday with my colleague's ex-colleague. (Hahaha... confusing!) Since he think we should have a gathering, I straightaway sms and ask him to go out for lunch the next day, which is today! Hopefully we can have the lunch somewhere near KLCC. Plan to stop by at Watson to get anything useful for the trip to Singapore.

Will write more later...

Three more days to leave for Singapore

2006-08-15T08:55:00.000+08:00

Well, I am going to Singapore this coming Friday to participate in a chinese choral competition. Not very much excited, but still counting down the days.

SGM Renaissance Choir

After all this is the first time Renaissance Choir will be joining the competition and I am sure most of us are excited. I just wanna take a break from work and be there to enjoy myself.

I'll write more after I come back from Singapore.

I'll become the MC for the following event which will be held on 26th August 2006. Stay tuned!

When home is no longer safe...

2006-08-08T11:29:00.000+08:00

It was a normal night. The temparature is higher than usual. I hardly fell into sleep as it was too hot and quite stuffy. I watched a few video clips online and finally felt tired and hit the sack. It was about 1:30am in the middle of the night.

I were waken up by the bright lights when my sister switched on the lights in my room. I thought she wanted to wake me up so I would prepare and go for work. However, normally she wouldn't swtch on the lights in my room though.

Later she said that her hand bag was gone. I checked my table in the room and found that my wallet and cellphone were gone too. She discovered that the window at the toilet at the back of our house has been broken. Someone must has broken into our house and stolen our stuff.

No one was hurt though. We then went to the police station to log a report. We were well treated. The police invited us to watch Astro in a room and just ask two other person to interview and make the report. Of course, I am the one who's watching TV.

Then we came back home and do our morning Gongyo. We were so lucky that the thief never wake us up and threaten us for more money. Considering a lot of cases happened recently where some TARC students were snatched by the thieves and died in the fatal incident. We thank to the protection of all buddhas. We were very lucky, indeed.

However, after our morning gongyo, we received call tellling us that some of our belonging were left at the back of our neighbour's house. We quickly went there to get back our stuff. Most of my sister's and her boyfriend's stuff were there. But mine was not there. I searched around but nothing to be found.

I was quite pissed off. Why didn't the thieves throw my wallet somewhere near so that I can get back at least my IC and the driving license. At some point, I felt insecure, even at home. How dare the thieve broke the window, got into our house and take away what belong to us? What make him so daring? What make him so desperate? I wondered. The mixture feelings of anger, frustrated, insecure, anxious and disappointment conquered me.

I recall: "Peace is not just the absent of war." ~ Daisaku Ikeda

Being Master of Ceremony

2006-08-07T22:34:00.000+08:00

I intent to write this down after the event but I was just "busy" being lazy.

Anyway, I was request to be the MC for the event - A Discourse on Islam and Buddhism. Yin Kwan called me a week earlier before the event and without any hesitation, I said ok. There are a few reasons why I agreed to become the MC.

First, it has been quite sometimes since I last spoken in the public.
Second, I guess it's Koon Hoe idea and he must be the one who proposed my name to the PIC that I can become a MC. So, I should not let him down. Besides, Yin Kwan asked me once last time to become the MC for an event and I kindly declined. It ended up Koon Hoe had to be the MC.
Third, I seriously wanted to take up the challenge and get myself busy. Besides, that's one good chance to improve myself and contribute myself.

A few unexpected incidents occurred that day. The IMAM group from China has delayed the event as they'd lost their way to the venue. Then, there're too many came to listen to the discussion until the organizer need to change the venue from the International Conference Room at 11th floor to the Auditorium at 4th floor. Surprisingly, even the Auditorium (which has more seats) was fully seated.

Due to these unexpected incidents, I had to spontaneously modify my MC script. I almost had a nervous breakdown. (Just kidding!)

However, I think I mange to control the whole event despite the "unexpected". Moreover, I learnt how to deal with the "sudden changes" and that was really a very wonderful experience for me. I received compliment and praises from a few people which really is great encouragement for me.

I am happy. I contributed.

Keanu and Sandra did it again!

2006-08-05T00:25:00.000+08:00

I went to catch a movie in cinema again today.

I promised my cousin sister from Kelantan to bring her to watch Pirate of the Carribean when she's in KL for her follow-up medical check-up. (She went through heart operation few months ago.) Since I have watched the movie, I bought them (cousin sister and her mom) the movie tickets and I bought myself ticket for another movie - The Lake House.

I had seen this movie selling in the market in VCD. I was so interested in watching the movie when I saw Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock on the front cover. I personally feel that they could be a perfect couple. Thanks to the movie - Speed, which bring them the limelight. Anyway, back to the VCD. The quality of the VCD sucks! I stopped watching the movie when I found that it's recorded in the cinema. Pirated stuff!

Anyway, I got the chance tonight to catch the show. Many things happened along the journey to catch the movie (need to leave office early, fetch auntie and cousin, get the movie tickets etc), but I'd say everything went well.

Since I haven't had my dinner, I bought chicken nuggets, Cheezel and ice lemon tea. I was the first one who got to get into the hall. I enjoyed my dinner and seeing people coming in to fill up the seats.

OK. I am so off the topic! About the movie, gosh I love it. Again, this is definitely not chic-flicks! This is really a romantic movie. I have to admit it is somewhat unrealistic and bull-shitting but I just love the story. Two people were seperated by the time. They're exchanging letters through a special mailbox in front of a lake house to get to know each other and then fallen in love.

At some point, the movie seriously remind me of the statement "Love is blind". The waiting, the patience and all are really touching! And there're some words or dialogue which touched my heart too.

What really make me love about this movie is that it makes me smile at the end... regardless how unrealistic it is. I love the feeling... happy ending...

Just My Luck

2006-08-03T14:11:00.000+08:00

I wanted to catch the movie "Just My Luck" when I saw the movie poster. Not because it's Lindsay Lohan or the cute boy, but I really want to watch a romantic comedy. I forgot when I started to like watching those so-called "chic-flick" movies, but I find them entertaining. Yes, it's between reality and dream. Somewhat real but unreasonable at times. They're just sweet! Or is it because I am just a single guy yearning for more lovey-dovey stuff?! Craps! What am I talking about?!

Anyway, I seriously wanted to catch the show but find no one interested to watch the movie in the cinema. At that time, most of my friends or family members were more interested in watching Superman or Pirates of the Carribean. So, I followed them watch the two movies.

It's when I almost wanted to give up to catch the movie, then I finally found one of my colleague (Hui Chin) who seems like willing to accompany me to watch the movie. And she also asked another colleague, King Chung who could join us too. She was quite tired that day and had the intention to go home early. But she insisted that she could watch the movie with us. So we left the office earlier than usual.

Unfortunately, other colleagues also went back home early that day and she also wanted to go back with them as there's a colleague who could drive them home. So, I insisted that she went home and I went to work out in the fitness club nearby. I was not annoyed though. Perhaps the movie wasn't worth watching. I can always buy DVD later to watch the movie. So I gave up catching the show.

Then two days back, Wee Wern (another colleague) emailed me and asked if I am interested to catch the movie with her as she's got two free tickets for the movie. Without much hesitation, I said yes and decided to go the next day (which is yesterday).

So yesterday I was so happy in the morning because at the end of the day, I'd be leaving the office earlier and catch the movie "Just My Luck". Things turn bad when I feel I have stomach problem. I have stomach ache after I had my lunch. I thought it was just a small matter and would be ok later. Unfortunately, things get worse when it's almost 6pm.

Wee Wern called and said that we'll leave at 6:30pm. I reluctantly said OK as my stomach ache was getting worse. By 6:20pm, I couldn't endure anymore and told Wee Wern to wait me at the lobby of the building when she's done and I need another 10 minutes to settle my thing - go to toilet.

It's 6:35pm when I got out of toilet. I quickly rushed out of the office and caught the elevator to go down to ground floor. My patience was really tested when the elevator stopped at almost at every floor as people were all catching the elevator and going back home during that time. I finally reached ground floor at arounf 6:40pm++. Then we headed to KLCC to catcha the show.

I bought Twisties BBQ and ice lemon tea before we entered the cinema. And gosh when I entered the cinema, the seats were so small. And the crowd were very noisy too! Never mind! I just want to watch the show.

Everything went well at the beginning. Then when the movie was played for about 1 hour, I started to have stomach ache again. Gosh, so pain that I needed to rush to the toilet. Imagine the seat was so small and I basically have to crawl on everyone's hips besides me to get out of the row. (I was sitting right in the middle!) Anyway, I managed to get into the toilet and "solve my problem". After that, I got back into the cinema and crawled back into my seat. So embarassing!

Anyway, after the movie I had my dinner at Secret Recipe where I had cake and fresh milk. I love cakes! And fresh milks! Yummy yummy!Then we went home.

Catching this movie, I have gone through some lucky and unlucky events. Guess you know which one is lucky and which one is not.

Craps! That's Just My Luck!

One Year Anniversary (Part 3)

2006-08-01T17:49:00.000+08:00

The new office was located at Jalan Sultan Ismail opposite Wisma Genting. It is more like a resort-like office. There're yellow lights and and wooden floor. Plus the cooling air-conditioned environment... hmmm... feel like working in the resort?!

Oh yes, the environment is so comfortable that it make me feel very sleepy especially after lunch time. You may caught me "fishing" at that time. Hong is sitting at my right hand side and a trainee is sitting at my left hand side. Jackie Boey is sitting in front facing me and we always "argue". "The War" will happen sometimes between us where we bombing each other and laugh out loud at the end. That's how we release stresses and tensions.

In this new office, I got to know more people as some of the colleagues who were working in MCA building shifted back into this new signature office. Jackie is one of them. Other colleagues like Yeong Yeong, Ocean, William, Jacelyn, CK, Sie Yun, Brad, Wee Wern and many more. Working life gets more interesting when you know more people in the office. Many people to talk to and we could help each other out when any of us are in needs.

Ocean used to initiate a group booking to watch movie in Time Square. I joined the group to watch M.I. 3. It was a fun experience though - 30 staffs and friends went to the cinema to watch movie together. Later on they also organize such event to watch other movies but I didn't join as I prefer watching movie with my family.

Some of us also went to sing KTV sometimes when we're free. I've been to Redbox twice and Neway once with my colleagues. I enjoyed the session in Neway as we got to enjoy free buffet! However, the price is very expensive. Almost RM 50 per person. Anyway, it was fun though.

I started to feel that I am in control of my works after I shifted to this new office. Also, I started to settle down and can estimate how much efforts and time needed to complete a task or assignment. This allow me to arrange my time for other activities like attending choir practice. I remember working over-night in the office two times in this new office. That two experiences really made me explore more about LASS and how it works. However, it's also a lesson learnt that staying over-night in the office is not encouraged as the nest few days you'll be very tired and that's defintely not healthy.

Till now, I am still working on LASS. There're a lot of room for improvement and I must grab every opportunity to improve myself and also contribute to the company as much as I can.

Working life is great when you have all your tasks under control and have a good plan.

One Year Anniversary (Part 2)

2006-07-31T22:53:00.000+08:00

I stood beside the window near my seat.

The first day in eProtea was alright. I was given a nice seat! Besides me is the window where I can enjoy the the beautiful KL City especially at night. I could see the KL Tower right through the window.

KL Tower can be seen right through the window where I sat.

The first person who guided me and assisted me is Edmund who work under CCRIS project. He brief me a little about what's CCRIS and the system developed. After that I was given some documents which I spent two boring days reading them. Then I could not help but to ask for something else to do. Then Edmund gave me some programming work to do. I think it's MBF's programme.

I rememberred there's this application which required me to send a report (successful/failure) to a user through email where the report is attached in the email. That was a very challenging task for me (then) as I never did that kind of program before. Of course Edmund gave me some clue and tips, and I also looked for help from the internet. I worked till very late for a few days and I somehow managed to complete the program. Ooh, satisfaction!

And then I was given some other tasks which I couldn't really remember. Then I was assigned to work for Hong, who is currently my senior and "Dai Lou"! He was developing a new product named LASS (Loan Account Submission System) and he needed an assistant to work with him. So I was assigned to help him.

From there I really learn a lot. As the system is still new and not fully developed, I got the opportunity to learn to develop the system from many aspects. Not only did I have the chance to explore more on Java programming, java script (jsp, servlet), I also got to learn more SQL statements and also the DTS (Data Transformation Service).

I still remember there was a period when Hong got into an accident and were absent for a few days. I was the one who need to do all the works. Being blur and helpless, I needed to explore, learn and solve the problem as fast as I could. I called Hong whenever I needed help and luckily he still managed to listen to the phone and simulate the problem at home and try to help me to solve most of the problems. During that period, I really forced myself to pick up and really learn a lot about the system. I have a better understand and get the big picture of the whole system.

From then on, I work mostly on the LASS instead of the CCRIS b2b project.

Oh did I not mention that the eProtea office was initially located at Cangkat Raja Chulan. Many bitter sweet memories at the old office. I remember I never joined the Company Trip to Pulau Pemanggil. I always go to have lunch with colleagues like Edmund, Wayne, Boon Seng, Hong, Panacie and Jasline. Then Chao Learn and King Chung later came in and become the permanent staff in the company too.

From left : King Chung, Chao Learn and I.

Other memories like delivering chinese oranges before the the Chinese New Year was also fun! We never really got to work but being the postman and deliver the oranges to our customers.

The decoration somewhere near my seat.

After the Chinese New Year, the office has shifted to a new place which is the current location. Menara Promet Level 29. We have a better environment and facilities. Besides, there is a Monorail station right in front of the building. Very convenient for me!

One Year Anniversary (Part 1)

2006-07-31T09:15:00.000+08:00

OK! Not marrying someone for 1 year! Not having a girlfriend for 1 year... But...

Hurray! I have been employed for 1 year. Wow, time really flies!

I still remember after I graduated, I stayed at home for about two months. In fact more than two months I guess. Doing nothing but woke up late in the afternoon, ate brunches, watched TV and slept again. That period was a disaster as I was not only unemployed, I suffered from depression and paranoia. Quite pathetic, indeed! Never mind about it! It's over!

Then after procrastinating for two months, I finally decided to look for a job and be good. There are many IT companies indeed in Malaysia. But I have no target in mind which company I want to be in. At that time, I only want to get a job and get busy! So I asked my friends (or more specifically, members in RC as those were the people I got contact with at that time).

I got to know two companies which were hiring IT programmer. First, eProtea Technologies Sdn Bhd (introduced my Merina) and also Hong Leong Bank (introduced by Rachel Ng). Without much consideration, I desperately prepared my resume and letter and sent to both companies. See! Stayed home two months really doing nothing - not even preparing resume and any letter. I still remember clearly I asked Melissa to help check my resume and letter for me. So pathetic! Shame on me, a university graduate couldn't write a proper letter and resume!

I did not have to wait long to receive response from eProtea and called me for an interview. Blurred and not very well-prepared, I groomed myself and took the LRT to the company. I forgot when was the exact date when I had the interview. But I remember Merina did chanted a lot for me and assisted me in any possible ways.

When I got into the company, the first person I met was the Administrative Manager, Sim. She gave me a form to fill in and a "examination" to complete. Gosh, I spent more than an hour to finish the paper. Then I was interviewed by Mr. Ho. Most of the questions asked were expected. :p (Oops! Guess I should say I was well-prepared?!) Then, he asked me to create a function using any language (either C or JAVA) to compute x power of y. I think I did it correctly.

Then, I was interviewed by Mr. Yeoh who is currently my boss when we talked about jobs in the company, salary and et cetera. I was almost sure I was gonna get the job. And I did! After a few days, I attended another interview in Hong Leong Bank which I can hardly remember. The only thing I remember is that they have this IQ test and writting essay. That's interesting!

So that was one year ago... I started working in eProtea MSC Sdn. Bhd. on 1st August 2005.

Mariah and I

2006-07-25T19:49:00.000+08:00

I am currently listening to Mariah's song while working (OT) in the office. Thought I would take a rest and write something here.

I started listen to Mariah's song when I was 12 or 13 years old when my friend introduced her album (DayDream) to me. That was the first english album I bought in my life. Honestly, the first time I listen to the album, I don't really like it. I somehow find it hard to get the melody as Mariah's good at twist and turn the melody.

But then the more I listen to the album, the more I like it. Especially songs like "When I Saw You", "Forever" etc. I still remember the only song I know before I bought the album is "One Swee Day" as it was so popular then.

After that, I kinda dislike her when she release her next album - "Butterfly". Her image was like too sexy for a conservative mind like me (then). I hated it when I see the single "Honey" was on top of the chart. Again, the more I listened to it, the more I enjoy the song. When her next single for the album (Butterfly) was released, I bought the album.

From then on, I bought her every album.

I listen to them night and day and even sing along nonchalently, regardless how other people will think a guy singing Mariah Carey's song! (Imagine when reaching the high notes, I would screamed like an idiot!)

I have to admit singing Mariah's songs is not "healthy" for a tenor like me. I would have to use "Falseto" (Spelled wrongly!) which is not too good if used incorrectly or too often. So I controlled myself not to sing too much of her song.

However, I have to admit that her songs really accompany me through thick and thin. Her songs are definitely inspiring! Whenever I am down or feel sad, despair bla bla bla, singing her songs will definitely got me through the rain.

Mariah absolutely have a special connection with her fans. I don't know how to describe but I really take her as a good friend even though we've never communicated directly before. It's through her songs and her lyrics that she touched my heart.

Challenge with Courage and Hope

2006-07-24T23:59:00.000+08:00

I was informed that one of the bass might not be able to participate in the choir competition next month in Singapore as his company has assigned him to Hong Kong to work for about one month.

There's nothing much we can do but to send abundant of daimoku to him. Life has too many uncertainties and we should never give up hope even until the very last minute. As stated in the Daishonin's teaching, there'll be obstacles and devil functions that will challenge us when we're doing the right things. Then we should be certain that we're walking on the correct path.

Yeah I have been challenged in many ways which I could not imagine and never though of. But now I've learned that to be defeated will only lead to unhappiness. So, it's better we face the challenges with courage and hope.

Challenges will make a courageous person stronger and wiser; but challenges will make a coward weaker.

It's when we face the challenges courageously, the light of hope will definitely shine for us.

ISME

2006-07-23T19:35:00.000+08:00

I've joined the Seremban Chung Hwa Alumni Choir to perform during the ISME in KL Convention Centre and KL PAC. The following are some selected photos taken during the event.

The two tenors and three basses. Aren't we cool?!

My colleagues and my parents.

Posed after performing in KL PAC.

The Australian Choir and my colleagues.

My colleagues and I in Plenary Theatre, KL Convention Centre.

The Opening...

2006-07-23T00:14:00.000+08:00

I have to decide what I will need to do with this "new place"/blog. I realised it's another kind of management.

It's hard for me to start writing after "never write" for so long. I doubt if it's necessary to force myself to write something, but I enjoy reading my writing (even though some of the entries aren't good). After all it's my works and I know how much efforts I put to "produce those works".

It's a normal Saturday night I guess. Trying to leave all the bad things behind. There's another thing I need to decide : whether to write down all the sad events or avoid negative "stories" in my life. Sometimes writing down those sadness, disappointment, frustration etc will make me feel worse because that make me really feel the negative energies before I can put them into words. And each time I feel them (the negativities), I will be more "negative". Then it'll become an "addiction" which you'll have hard time to pull yourself out of the "trouble". So I guess I could write them down but not so much. Besides, keeping bad memories won't bring me any good.

So, my dear audience, expect happy and positive things from this blog. However, should you find too many negativities here, do remind me about that! I have to keep myself positive! Hahaha...

OK. I must hit the sack.

Peace,
Ryan

Justin is going to be back with his new album soon!

2006-07-22T23:59:00.000+08:00

Ooh la la! Can't wait to buy his new album!

New Blog

2006-07-15T07:35:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since I last blogged. Guess I have to start to write again.